Coming Home to Myself: What Real EMDR Healing Looks Like (Not Just the Light Bar)
- Dana Carretta-Stein
- Jul 22
- 6 min read
Updated: Jul 24
“You’re not alone. If you’re ready, and you find the right therapist, be brave. EMDR helped me come home to myself.” — Frank
We often hear about therapy journeys in abstract, polished ways—like something out of a movie montage. But what does it really feel like to go through EMDR therapy? What happens when the healing starts—not in your head, but in your body?
In our latest YouTube episode, I sat down with Frank, a former client and brave soul, to talk honestly about his EMDR journey. This post breaks down what we discussed—and why this kind of healing matters.
"I Felt Like I Was in Neutral"
Frank started therapy the way many do: with talk therapy. But after months of honest effort, both he and his therapist hit a wall.
“We were stuck. I wasn’t progressing. I wanted to work through things, but something was blocked.”
Panic attacks were his body’s alarm bells. And while medication offered temporary relief, it didn’t answer the deeper question: Why?
This is the first sign that EMDR may be a good next step—when traditional talk therapy alone isn’t touching the root.
What EMDR Therapy Actually Looks Like
Let’s bust a myth: EMDR isn’t just about watching a light bar.
Frank shared how his sessions used buzzers for bilateral stimulation (BLS)—those small vibrating paddles that alternate in your hands to help the brain process trauma.
“I’m a visual person, but the light didn’t help. The buzzers worked wonders. They felt natural.”
What you use in EMDR—light, sound, touch—can be tailored to you. That’s part of what makes it effective.
Trauma Isn’t Stored in Order—EMDR Helps You Find the Fragments
What makes EMDR powerful isn’t just the tools—it’s what your brain does with them.
“The brain takes you to unexpected places. Trauma isn’t stored like regular memories—it’s fragmented. EMDR helped locate those fragments and reprocess them.”
Sometimes it’s a smell. Sometimes it’s a word or a feeling you can’t name. EMDR gently pulls those pieces into the light, allowing your brain to do what it was built to do: heal.
EMDR Healing Isn’t a Straight Line
There’s no single “aha!” moment in EMDR—it’s more like layers peeling away. But some sessions shift everything.
“One session, I opened my eyes and felt... centered. No fog. Just peace.”
That peace? It’s not always immediate, and it’s never forced. It’s something that builds over time with the right support, pacing, and tools.
The EMDR Hangover is Real (And Normal)
Let’s be honest: this work isn’t always gentle.
“You feel like a live nerve. The dreams are wild. Sometimes healing looks like screaming in your car.”
That’s why working with a trained EMDR therapist is non-negotiable. You need someone who knows how to ground you, regulate your nervous system, and hold space for your whole experience.
EMDR is “Super Therapy”—And It’s Not DIY
Frank put it best:
“EMDR pulls in parts of CBT, DBT, ACT… but it speeds things up. It unlocks things you didn’t even know were inside.”
But this isn’t something to try solo. Some programs market at-home EMDR kits. Don’t do it.
“Please don’t. You need someone skilled to guide you through crying, nausea, wanting to scream. Sometimes your body has to finish what it never got to.”
Healing is somatic. You can’t journal your way through this. You need nervous system support, safety, and skilled presence.
“I Was Scared—But I Did It Anyway”
Fear is a normal part of trauma healing. But when safety and connection are in place, fear becomes fuel.
“You have to feel safe with your therapist. But once you do, the fear subsides. You go deep and come out stronger.”
You’re Not Alone. You’re Just Getting Started.
This conversation with Frank is one of the most honest depictions of EMDR therapy we’ve ever shared.
If you’ve been thinking about EMDR, or if you’ve hit a wall in traditional therapy, it might be time to try something different. Something deeper.
🎥 Watch the full conversation now on YouTube:
✔️ Want to deepen your understanding of EMDR and how it works?
✔️ Want some real, practical tips to get the most out of EMDR therapy?
🌿 About Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling
At Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling, we specialize in trauma-informed therapy that blends neuroscience, compassion, and practical tools to support real healing.
Whether you're navigating anxiety, PTSD, or feeling stuck in old patterns, our licensed therapists offer evidence-based care—including EMDR therapy—in a supportive, non-judgmental space.
We believe healing happens in safety, connection, and trust. Let's help you come home to yourself.
Curious about starting EMDR therapy? Schedule with a free consultation with our Peaceful Living therapists:
✨ Ready to Go Deeper in Your Healing?
If EMDR is about coming home to yourself, then self-discovery is how you start unlocking the front door.
Our Finding Yourself: A Self Discovery Exercise Worksheet is designed to gently guide you through reflective prompts that help you reconnect with your core self—the part that may have been buried under trauma, perfectionism, or survival mode.
Whether you're in EMDR therapy now or just beginning your healing journey, this is a grounding tool to support clarity and connection.
You’re not lost—you’re layered. Let’s start uncovering who you are underneath it all.
See Full Conversation Transcript of Dana and Frank below:
🧠Dana (Interviewer):
So Frank, you've done EMDR therapy. How did you get to that point? You’d done therapy before, right? What made you feel like you needed something more?
🧔Frank (Interviewee):
Yeah, I had been in therapy for a while. My therapist—shout out to Dan!—was honest with me and said, “We’re stuck. You’re not progressing.” I felt like I was in neutral. I wanted to work through things, but something was blocked.
🧠Dana:
How did you know you were stuck?
🧔Frank:
I was having panic attacks. I didn’t even know what a panic attack was. It felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was prescribed Xanax, which helped in the moment, but it didn’t get to the root. It was just masking the symptoms.
🧠Dana:
Exactly. Medication can help regulate the nervous system short-term, but healing needs more.
🧔Frank:
Right. Dan suggested EMDR and referred me to someone amazing—spoiler alert, it was you! I didn’t know what EMDR was, and I was hesitant, but I decided to try it.
🧠Dana:
What was the EMDR experience like for you?
🧔Frank:
Not what people think. It’s not just the light bar. I’m a visual person, and the light didn’t help me as much. But the buzzers—those little vibrating things—worked wonders. They helped administer bilateral stimulation in a way that felt natural to me.
🧠Dana:
And how did it affect your healing?
🧔Frank:
It was a journey. Not one big “aha” moment like on TV. It’s layers. The brain takes you to unexpected places. Trauma isn’t stored like regular memories—it’s fragmented. EMDR helped my brain locate those fragments and reprocess them.
🧠Dana:
So it helped you make sense of your triggers?
🧔Frank:
Exactly. I didn’t realize that certain smells, words, even times of day were triggering me. EMDR let me connect the dots. One session, I opened my eyes afterward and felt... centered. Everything was quiet and vibrant. No fog. Just peace.
🧠Dana:
That’s the power of reprocessing. But it’s not always easy, right?
🧔Frank:
No. It’s intense. You go to raw places. I felt like a live nerve. The EMDR hangover is real. The dreams are wild. But you helped ground me—checked in, made sure I had tools. That support was everything.
🧠Dana:
That’s why EMDR should always be done with a trained therapist. It’s not something to do solo.
🧔Frank:
Yeah. Some programs promote doing it at home. Please don’t. You need someone skilled to guide you through the emotions and reactions—crying, nausea, wanting to scream. Sometimes your body has to finish what it never got to.
🧠Dana:
Exactly. It’s not cognitive—it’s somatic. Sometimes healing looks like screaming in your car, which you’ve done!
🧔Frank (laughs):
Yes! That lady in NYC traffic thought I was nuts. But better out than in.
🧠Dana:
What would you say to someone afraid to start EMDR?
🧔Frank:
Be scared, but be brave. You have to feel safe with your therapist. If the connection’s not there, take a step back. But once it is, the fear subsides. You can go deep and come out stronger. You understand why things happened. You heal.
🧠Dana:
And that healing continues even after EMDR.
🧔Frank:
Yes. I had Dan and you—therapy and EMDR working together. EMDR is like super therapy. It pulls in parts of CBT, DBT, ACT… but it speeds things up. It unlocks things you didn’t even know were inside.
🧠Dana:
What about people who say, “I’m scared of what might come up”?
🧔Frank:
I’d say: If you don’t face it, your body will make you. I suppressed stuff for so long, it became panic attacks. Others turn to addiction, numbing. But with the right support, you can heal. The work is hard—but it’s worth it.
🧠Dana:
And that support, that connection, is everything.
🧔Frank:
Yeah. Once you understand your trauma and feel safe, you begin to transform. You go from surviving to thriving.
🧠Dana:
Anything else you’d like to share?
🧔Frank:
You’re not alone. If you’re ready, and you find the right therapist, be brave. EMDR helped me come home to myself. I want others to feel that too.
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