What Triggers Actually Are—And How EMDR Helps You Respond Differently
- Dana Carretta-Stein
- 3 days ago
- 4 min read
Understanding emotional triggers through a trauma lens
What it means to be “triggered”
You’ve probably said it or heard someone say it: “I was so triggered.” But what does that actually mean?
Being “triggered” isn’t about being too sensitive—it’s a sign that your nervous system is doing its job. It’s responding to something that feels like a threat based on your past experiences, even if your current environment is technically safe.
Triggers aren’t always loud or obvious. They can be subtle:
A facial expression that reminds you of someone who hurt you
A voice raised slightly too loud
A moment of disconnection in a relationship
A specific smell, sound, or phrase
Your body remembers, even when your mind doesn’t. That’s why triggers feel like overreactions from the outside, but inside, they make total sense.
If you’ve ever felt ashamed for your reaction—or tried to “just calm down” and couldn’t—it’s not because you’re broken. It’s because your system is protecting you the way it was wired to.
How EMDR changes your response to triggers
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy works directly with the nervous system to reprocess traumatic memories and change how they affect you in the present.
Here’s what happens during EMDR:
🌀 You access the original memory—the one connected to the trigger.
🔁 Through bilateral stimulation (like eye movements or tapping), your brain reprocesses that memory.
🧠 The emotional charge gets released. Your body no longer reacts as if that memory is happening now.
So, instead of spiraling when you’re triggered, you gain the ability to pause. To respond with awareness. To feel safe in your own body again.
What EMDR doesn’t do:
❌ It doesn’t erase your past.
❌ It doesn’t force you to relive everything in detail.
What it does do:
✅ Helps you see the past as the past.
✅ Strengthens your window of tolerance.
✅ Rewires limiting beliefs (“I’m not safe,” “I’m not enough”) into adaptive truths (“I’m safe now,” “I can handle this”).
If you’ve ever searched “EMDR therapy near me” after a moment that left you spiraling, it’s because part of you knows—you don’t want to keep reacting this way. And you don’t have to.
Strategies for day-to-day grounding
While EMDR works at the deeper level, we all need real-time tools for staying regulated when life triggers us. These grounding strategies can help you feel more present—even when your system is activated:
👀 Orient to your environment Look around and name: 5 things you can see 4 things you can touch 3 sounds you hear 2 things you can smell 1 thing you can taste or notice internally
🌬️ Box Breathing — Inhale for 4 seconds Hold for 4 Exhale for 4 Hold again for 4 Repeat several rounds to calm your nervous system.
🧠 Grounding Phrase — Use a phrase like: “This is a trauma response. I am safe. I don’t have to react the old way.”
🦶 Move your body — Stretch, walk, or gently tap your feet. Movement helps regulate energy stuck in your system.
These tools don’t “cure” trauma, but they support your capacity to stay with yourself through tough moments—something that used to feel impossible.
You’re allowed to respond differently
Here’s the truth: You are not your reactions. You are not your triggers. You are someone who learned to survive—and now you’re learning to heal.
EMDR therapy gives you access to parts of yourself that trauma disconnected you from. The calm. The clarity. The choice.
Over time, the trigger loses its power—and you gain yours back.
Internal Resources
Book Therapy at Peaceful Living Counseling
Feeling ready to take the next step in your healing journey? Dana’s team at Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling offers EMDR therapy and trauma-informed support both in-person (Scarsdale, NY) and virtually.
Start Healing at Home with The EMDR Therapy Progress Journal
Not quite ready for therapy? Dana’s EMDR Therapy Progress Journal is the perfect self-paced tool. It blends neuroscience-backed strategies, practical prompts, and actionable steps to help you:
✅ Track emotional triggers
✅ Build coping skills
✅ Understand how past experiences shape your present
Go Deeper in Your Healing Journey
📚 Check out my blogs at The EMDR Coach, where I break down EMDR concepts, trauma education, and practical healing strategies you can start today.
About Dana Carretta-Stein
Dana Carretta-Stein is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and founder of Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling, PLLC, and Carretta Consulting in Scarsdale, NY.
She is a certified EMDR therapist and EMDRIA Approved Consultant and is an expert in trauma-informed care in Westchester, NY.
Dana is also a skilled business coach for wellness practitioners who are looking to build and grow their private practice.
Check out Dana's website to learn more about her and EMDR Therapy: