Episode 15: Building Without Burning Out with Eric Stein (Part 2)
Building Without Burning Out: Growing a Business, Raising a Family, and Accepting You Can't Do Everything
How do you build a business, raise a family, maintain a marriage, take care of yourself, and somehow still have a life?
Dana and Eric Stein don't have a magical formula.
They do have two businesses, two young kids, very full calendars, therapy appointments, workouts, date nights, and an ongoing need to figure out what actually deserves their time.
In Part 1, Dana and Eric talked about marriage during the hard years, couples therapy, emotional growth, and how they've learned to navigate their differences.
In Episode 15 of The Truth About Healing, they're getting into the professional side of their relationship and what Building Without Burning Out actually requires when your career isn't simply a nine-to-five job.
Their answer has less to do with "doing it all" and more to do with autonomy, self-worth, realistic expectations, delegation, and being intentional about what matters.
And because this is Dana and Eric, a conversation about entrepreneurship somehow detours into sex, cannolis, diarrhea, laundry, and why neither of them would last very long as a stay-at-home parent.
It's not a polished work-life balance formula.
It's what their version of making it work actually looks like.
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Episode Highlights
In this episode, Dana and Eric get candid about what marriage looks like during a demanding season of life. They discuss:
Why building a business is often a lifestyle, not a nine-to-five job
How autonomy and self-worth help when both partners are ambitious
Why disappointment is a normal part of relationships
How parenting, exhaustion, and busy schedules can affect intimacy
Why one partner's boundary and the other partner's disappointment can exist at the same time
What Eric wishes he understood about self-care when he was working 80 to 90 hours a week
Why being intentional matters when you're building a business and a family
How unrealistic timelines can make growth feel like failure
Why small, consistent actions matter more than trying to reach the finish line overnight
How delegation protects time, mental space, and relationships
Why successful people rarely do everything themselves
How Dana and Eric decide what deserves their time and what someone else can do better
Memorable Quote
"You can do anything, just not everything." - Eric Stein
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Further Learning & Resources
Discover journals, workbooks, consultation resources, and recommended tools designed to support both personal healing and professional growth.
EMDR Therapy Progress Journal
The EMDR Therapy Progress Journal helps clients track healing progress, identify
patterns, document insights, and stay connected to their therapeutic journey between sessions.
Perfect for:
EMDR clients
Trauma recovery work
Reflection between sessions
Tracking healing milestones
EMDR Coach Treatment Planning Workbook
Designed specifically for EMDR therapists, this workbook helps simplify case
conceptualization, target sequencing, and treatment planning.
Ideal for:
EMDR-trained clinicians
EMDR consultation groups
Organizing complex cases
Strengthening treatment planning skills
Meet Eric Stein
Eric Stein began his career in real estate at just 18 years old and has spent more than 20 years building businesses in the industry.
He is the owner of RE/MAX Distinguished Homes & Properties in Tuckahoe, New York, where he leads a top-producing brokerage. As an individual agent, Eric ranks among the top 1% of Westchester County Realtors, and his work has also included buying, renovating, and flipping properties throughout Westchester and the Bronx.
Eric has presented at national conferences on negotiation and strategy and has earned recognition including the RE/MAX Diamond Team Award.
He is passionate about helping buyers, sellers, investors, and real estate professionals make informed decisions, but in this episode, he trades real estate strategy for a very different conversation about marriage, therapy, fatherhood, emotions, and what he's learned from doing his own work.
And yes, he voluntarily agreed to be interviewed by his therapist wife.
Connect with Eric:
Westchester Home Source:https://www.westchesterhomesource.com
Westchester Home Sale:https://www.westchesterhomesale.com
Meet Our Host Dana Carretta-Stein, LMHC
Dana Carretta-Stein is an LMHC, EMDRIA Approved Consultant, founder of The EMDR Coach, and founder of Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling (PLMHC).
Her work focuses on trauma-informed therapy, nervous system healing, EMDR therapy, attachment patterns, and helping people understand the deeper roots behind emotional and behavioral patterns.
Dana blends neuroscience, trauma-informed education, and direct honesty in a way that helps listeners feel both validated and challenged to think differently about healing.
Her core belief: Symptoms make sense when you understand the nervous system underneath them.
Trauma-Informed Therapy Through PLMHC
Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling provides trauma-informed therapy for children, teens, and adults.
Services include support for:
Overthinking
Burnout
Trauma
Emotional overwhelm
Nervous system dysregulation
PLMHC offers in-person therapy in Scarsdale and virtual therapy throughout New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, and Florida.
If you’ve been searching for trauma-informed therapy in Westchester or EMDR therapy in Scarsdale, support is available.
Full Episode Transcript
Episode 15: Building Without Burning Out with Eric Stein (Part 2)
Dana:Welcome to another episode of The Truth About Healing, the podcast that's here to challenge everything you think you knew about therapy.
I'm Dana Carretta-Stein, EMDR and neuro-informed therapist, and I'm on a mission to help 10 million people change their patterns, relationships, and future generations by teaching them how to gain control of their nervous system.
Let's go with it.
Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of The Truth About Healing. We are here for Part 2 with my amazing other half, my husband, Eric Stein.
We were chatting on our earlier episode about interpersonal dynamics, being married to a therapist, and how we got here through the ups and downs and everything.
So now we're going to go a little bit into the professional side of things, building businesses side by side and building a family.
How the fuck do we pull this off?
Eric:I think I said it in Part 1.
Dana:Yeah.
Eric:A lot of alcohol.
No.
I think understanding and room for each other to grow and be autonomous is, in my opinion, probably the biggest part.
And having your own self-worth.
If your business is thriving, I'm not like, "Oh shit, am I doing enough?" Or, "Am I failing?"
Dana:No. You say all the time, "I wanna be a stay-at-home dad."
Eric:That's it. I'm ready.
Dana:And I'm like, "I wanna be a stay-at-home mom."
We would both lose our freaking minds.
Eric:Yeah. After a day.
I was gonna say a day, but I don't even think I'd make it a day.
Dana:No.
We're both too...
We need to be busy.
Eric:Yep.
Dana:We need to be stimulated. We need to do something.
Eric:Yep. One hundred percent.
Dana:Not like our kids won't keep us busy, but, you know.
Eric:Oh my God, please.
I think those are the important parts.
The understanding, being able to give each other room.
And understanding it's not a nine-to-five.
Dana:No.
Eric:It's a lifestyle.
Dana:Yes.
Eric:My ex-business partner, Al, used to say, "It's not a career, it's a lifestyle."
And it is.
It's an ebb and flow.
Sometimes you gotta take an appointment Sunday morning at 9:00 in the morning.
Sometimes you gotta take a phone call at 9:00 at night on a Wednesday.
Or you gotta be up at 2:00 in the morning doing reports, or I gotta be up at 5:30 to bang out valuations.
It's the ebb and flow of how we do it.
Plus, we have to navigate children, our own lives, our own time.
We both work out four or five days a week. Go to therapy. We brought date night back.
I like to golf.
Dana:Mm-hmm.
Eric:You like to garden.
I think all of these things are important, that it ebbs and flows together.
And it is a lot.
Dana:Yeah.
Michelle, our therapist, says, "You two do more things and have more on your calendars than any people I've ever met."
There are times when I definitely get like, "Okay, this is too much. I need to break."
But I think what works is that when I get like that, you're like, "Okay."
You don't really give me a hard time, like, "We need to do this," or whatever.
There are times when we're gonna have to cancel shit because we all have our limits.
I think over the years you've become more accepting of that.
It was hard for you at first.
Eric:I was just gonna say, disappointment.
Learning to live with disappointment.
Dana:That's huge.
Eric:That was one of the hardest parts.
Learning to Live With Disappointment
Eric:Listen, all candor, I think I have free rein here.
Dana:Yeah.
Eric:Sex is the biggest factor.
Dana:Yeah.
I think it's something that's a real topic for most couples.
Eric:Yeah.
We're like, "All right, we're gonna have date night. Let's go."
My favorite thing is go out to dinner, have a drink, go home, and have sex.
Sometimes you're tired. Sometimes it's not gonna happen.
And learning to live with that.
I've had my temper tantrums about it, no doubt about it.
Boston.
Dana:Boston.
Long time ago.
You need EMDR from that one.
Eric:Yep, yep. Go with it. Go with it.
Dana:Oh, thank you for that.
Eric:Window wiping. Windshield wiping.
Dana:Oh my God. Don't get me started on that.
Eric:But I think learning to deal with that, and obviously there has to be a balance. You can't be disappointed all the time.
Dana:Right.
It's holding space for the other person's emotions.
Because I know what was hard for me, and it's still sometimes hard for me. I'm not gonna sit here and lie and be like, "Oh, I'm over it now."
It's feeling like I fail you sometimes.
Being able to have sex with my husband, that's something I want to be able to do, and there are times that life happens.
Last night was Father's Day, right?
I had all these ideas in my head of how we would end the night.
And Philip had diarrhea, Caroline didn't wanna go to bed, and by the end it was 9:30 and I was like, "I'm fucking spent."
For a long time, it would be hard for me. I'd be like, "You know, I failed you."
Then I would kind of get angry and put it on you, like, "I can't believe you don't understand," blah, blah, blah.
Now it's just being like, "Yeah, I get that you're disappointed."
And I'm allowed to say no, obviously.
Clearly.
But you can be disappointed about it.
It's holding space for both of those things.
Eric:I agree.
I think that's a big part of it.
It's both.
It's not just me like, "Oh, all right, you're disappointed."
It's like, okay, you're disappointed. It's gonna happen again.
This wasn't a once-in-a-lifetime type of thing.
I think that happens in a lot of aspects of our life, in that we are evolving.
But I think men as a whole probably have a hard time dealing with that, or even have a hard time understanding that's what's going on for you.
Dana:Yeah.
Eric:Then being able to talk about it, which is why the therapist part, I think, comes in well.
Because you can sometimes, in that situation, be like, "Yo, I was pissed. I wanted to have sex. This is what happened."
I was really pissed off.
Dana:Yeah.
And I let you have that feeling.
Eric:Right.
Then usually the men are analytical, like, "Okay, what are we doing about it? How are we doing it?"
Or the women are the emotional side of, "Don't worry, we're gonna..."
It's gonna happen.
Then that reassurance comes in.
Learning to ebb and flow with that.
Especially when you have small children.
Dana:Oh God, yeah.
Eric:I can't imagine Philip having diarrhea was a real aphrodisiac.
Dana:I mean, every freaking time this kid eats cannolis.
It's a problem.
He's half Italian too. I don't know.
It's too much sugar. It's not even the dairy, it's the sugar.
It's the running joke.
Eric:I don't know.
Dana:It's a disaster.
Remember that when you buy him Ring Pops.
Eric:Listen, whatever. Every once in a while.
Dana:You're more rigid than I am. I have a little more flexibility.
Eric:I'm thinking of the toilet system and what's going to come.
Dana:Oh, you're worried about our plumbing, is that it?
So nice. So kind of you.
When a Hard Moment Becomes Bigger Than It Needs to Be
Dana:Back to our sex life, I'm gonna entertain it.
But I think that is a great topic because, one, it's something everybody struggles with and no one really wants to talk about.
It's not about fixing it in the moment.
It's just like, yeah, this is a situational thing in this moment.
You're disappointed. I'm exhausted.
And we don't have to flood and make it like we're never having sex again or this is something that we need to fix immediately.
It doesn't need to go global.
Eric:It doesn't need to go global.
Dana:I think that's where, making kind of an assumption here, infidelity in a lot of relationships can come in because there's that unmet need that a partner has and the other one wants to meet, and it's this thing that's not talked about.
But we talk about it.
At length.
Sometimes too much.
I think that's what helps us both stay loyal to each other.
I mean, you would never have time for another person anyway because I'm a handful.
Eric:No way.
I honestly don't have enough hair to go around.
Dana:But I think, too, we started by saying a strong sense of self-worth.
Eric:One hundred percent.
Dana:I think that's really helpful too.
Because you cannot get that need met, so to speak, and it doesn't rattle you where you need to...
You don't need that to make you secure in yourself.
Eric:Right.
I don't feel less of a man because I was denied sex.
Dana:Right.
Denied, my God. I sound like a frigging horrible person there, but that's my own shit coming out.
Look at that.
Eric:There you go.
Once again, go with it.
Dana:Yeah. Go with it.
Building a Career Before Building a Family
Dana:We started with building businesses and somehow got onto our sex life.
God. It always goes there.
Eric:It always fucking winds up going there.
Dana:Well, guys...
And you're very good-looking.
But we had said earlier in our relationship that if I had met you when you were first starting your career, it probably wouldn't have worked.
Eric:Correct. Correct.
When I first started my career, I was 18, and I was working 80, 90 hours.
Dana:Which is so rare, right?
Eric:Yep.
I remember even my ex saying, "My number one focus is work. It's not a relationship."
Dana:And that was true.
Eric:Right.
In theory, for her that worked. It worked more with where she was at in life and who she was, and the same thing for me.
When you and I met, I was already established, give or take 10 years.
Not that it was easier in that sense, but I had built a business, a baseline.
When you and I first met, I was probably still working close to 80 hours a week, 70, 80 hours a week.
It was a different mindset.
My focus was only building a business, building a career, making money.
Then as things change, now I'm in the business 23 years.
I'm working 55, 60 hours a week, which is still more than the 40, but I have a balance.
Dana:You're never off.
Eric:Right.
I go golf. We've got a date night. We go somewhere with the kids. I'm there.
Dana:Yeah.
Eric:That's the intentional part that I didn't really understand then.
I worked hard then, not smart.
But to what you had said, if I worked at that pounding 80 hours, 90 hours a week, there probably wouldn't have been room for us.
There wouldn't have been room for me to learn about me, to then be able to intertwine.
Dana:Good point.
More in that, not survival mode, but still the hustle, right?
Trying to go, go, go.
You probably didn't have space for that self-reflection and things like that.
Versus now, your priorities have almost shifted, right?
There's family.
What about people who are still in that building, building phase while building a family at the same time?
Any advice for them?
Be Intentional With Your Time
Eric:Be intentional with it.
Don't tell me you can't take an hour a week to go to therapy.
Most people, if they're in that grind mode, not everybody, but I would bet the statistic is probably 70 to 80% that they work out.
They're probably intense in their workout.
Those people also probably go out and drink or do something. They're usually not just in the office 110 hours a week and sleeping on a cot in their office most of the time.
There are those outliers.
But you can make that time.
Whether it's a lunch hour or when you get off from work, you can be very intentional with your time.
I tell the young guys in the office that are growing, "Go do the 80 hours a week, but take care of yourself too."
I didn't understand that back in the day.
Also take care of yourself.
And taking care of yourself could be a lot of different ways.
One of my good friends, a top agent in the office, Hermie, takes his mother to church on Sundays.
Dana:Oh, does he?
I fucking love him.
He's such a gem.
Eric:And that's fulfilling.
Dana:He's one of the most authentic people I've ever met.
Eric:One hundred percent.
And that's fulfilling for him.
He works out. He boxes. He runs. He meditates. He does what he has to do.
He has a personal life while working and being one of the top agents.
So you can make the time. It's just what you do with it.
I put a post out there:
You can do anything, just not everything.
Dana:Mm.
Eric:Like we were saying earlier, if everything's a priority, nothing's a priority.
Stop Trying to Reach the Finish Line Overnight
Dana:I think in pictures, like scaffolding.
I know for me, I can get overwhelmed because I can see the end result and then want that right away.
But hearing, "Okay, what steps do you have to take?"
Doing that intentionally, knowing, "Okay, I might not be exactly where I wanna be, but I am on track."
That's why I like EOS.
You've got those 90-Day Rocks, your one-year goal, three-year plan, 10-year plan.
So you can actually see.
Eric:One hundred percent.
That's what I was gonna say.
When you said that, my coaching brain went right to it.
Okay, that's your end result.
How long do we think it needs to take to get there?
And then what are all the steps in between?
On a sales perspective, sometimes those steps are, "I made 10 calls today."
That's step one.
That's why I do challenges, because it's weekly things.
Your goal at the end of the year is 52 weeks.
If you did a little bit each week, it's 52 rungs on a ladder.
Sometimes you're gonna go back a step.
Sometimes you're gonna go up two steps for that week.
But it's 52 rungs on the ladder to be able to get you to where that goal is, rather than, "Oh my God, that's my goal. We gotta get that."
You struggle with this at home.
Dana:Mm-hmm.
Eric:"I want it to look like this," or, "I want this to happen."
Dana:Yep.
Eric:And it's not a realistic picture.
It's not slowing down or getting your emotions in control.
Dana:I try to do it all at once.
Eric:Yeah.
Building a Business and a Family May Mean Going Slower
Dana:I think the biggest takeaway everyone needs to hear is, if you're building a business and building a family, you're going to need to do things slower.
Because the traction you would get if you were only focused on one thing, you would get there faster.
But you're basically growing two businesses, quote unquote, at the same time.
So you have to be realistic.
Eric:Correct.
Dana:Set realistic goals.
SMART goals are a thing for a reason.
Eric:And with your time, if you were able to get 10 things done, now you're saying, "Okay, I'm only gonna get five," because it's split between two.
Dana:It's actually gonna get less.
You're gonna be like three or three and a half because your mental space...
What a lot of people don't realize is the noise in your brain.
Eric:I remember reading Donald Miller's StoryBrand book.
Dana:Oh, so good.
John Clark introduced me to that book. It's so good.
Eric:He talks a lot about the noise in people's brains and quieting it down.
I've taken that and employed it into sales and growth.
What's that noise in your brain?
That's why, for me, delegation is important.
I have a listing coordinator, transaction coordinator. Their jobs are specified.
Dana:Have a team.
Eric:Exactly.
Having that structure means there are things you don't have to worry about.
I've done that in the office for agents.
"Here are things for you that you don't have to worry about."
There's a cost to certain things, but if you know what your cost per hour is and what you're doing...
Dana:It comes down to numbers.
Eric:And the reality is they may be better at it on top of it.
Stop Trying to Do Everything Yourself
Dana:As a business owner, figure out what your hourly rate is worth.
Then extrapolate.
Okay, how much would it cost to outsource this, this, and that?
One of the things that makes us really successful is that we delegate a lot.
Our laundry and dry cleaning gets picked up every Monday and dropped off every Tuesday.
We have house cleaners.
We have a lot of support.
My mom comes down all the time to help us.
The big thing is, stop trying to do everything yourself because you will never get anything done, let alone get it done well.
Eric:And understanding that that's okay.
Dana:Nobody does shit...
The most successful person has a fucking team.
Eric:Correct.
And you struggle with this as a mom and a woman.
Dana:Yeah.
Eric:It doesn't make it wrong.
You used to fight with me a lot about delegation.
Obviously, some things shouldn't be delegated out, but there are a lot that could.
Dana:Like when it comes to my birthday gift.
Although, #JackieILoveYou.
Eric:Yeah.
If somebody's better at it than me, I'm going to the professional.
Dana:Jackie buys me the most wonderful Mother's Day and birthday gifts.
Eric:That's it.
Dana:I'm really good at my job. I've accepted the delegation factor.
Eric:Correct.
Even with your 40th birthday party, it took a team.
Dana:Yeah.
You were very involved in that.
You did it, honestly. You and Adri did the whole thing.
Eric:What I've learned is that, depending on the situation, I'm good at running things on the CEO level, but you gotta let people do what they need to do.
Sometimes it's holding people accountable. Sometimes it's getting things done or knowing where.
But if you don't know, you delegate it out.
Dana:Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.
Eric:Absolutely.
Your Relationship Pays a Price When You Try to Do It All
Dana:When you tie business to marriage, if you're trying to do it all, and I get it, I get the struggle, I get the hustle, but if you're trying to do it all, you're probably gonna fail.
The ball's gonna get dropped.
We're in a podcast studio where we could actually do this at home.
But we can pay somebody to do this better.
Eric:Better with time, better usually.
Dana:Gotta love Claudio for that.
I'm really good at my job. You're really good at your job.
We both can figure this out.
But we don't need to.
Eric:That's the reality.
Dana:That's the smart thing.
Because then what happens?
Our marriage suffers.
Eric:It's the highest and best use of your time.
Dana:Right.
Because if I didn't have Claudio, who's the most amazing producer ever, I'd be up until 5:00 in the morning trying to edit videos and do stuff.
I'm not...
That's a no.
Eric:You don't enjoy it. You're not good at it.
Dana:And he does it so much better.
Eric:Correct.
That's where a lot of these things come in, being intentional with your time.
Obviously, we're business owners.
People who work nine to five may be a little bit different.
But you're always doing that.
You have to prioritize what's important.
Sometimes the Priority Is Your Relationship
Eric:I'm glad we got date nights back.
The reality is, there isn't more time.
So what was the priority?
What needed to go in place?
There were steps that you had to get to that point on your own and realize it.
Dana:Finding the right person.
Eric:Then it was getting a babysitter.
We got the babysitter, and now, okay, we're going.
Dana:Honestly, thank God for Sam because she introduced us to our babysitter.
That is what made it easy to start building from there.
Eric:Right.
I think it's that mentality.
It's not, "I'm a different person at work than I am at home."
A lot of it blends together.
Dana:Yeah.
Very well said.
It all blends together.
Where to Find Eric Stein
Dana:I'm being conscious of our time because I know you have to get to a doctor's appointment.
For everyone listening, can you give them a little info on where they can find you, whether it's selling a home in Westchester or talking about dad life and being married to a psychotherapist?
Eric:One hundred percent.
On social media, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok...
Dana:He's not on TikTok.
Don't.
You haven't used your TikTok in a thousand years.
Eric:I keep saying TikTok.
One of these days I'm gonna be back.
So if you check this out in six months...
Dana:Instagram, @theericstein_remax.
Eric:There you go.
My wife is my publicist. She's the head of marketing.
Dana:I am very good at marketing.
That's what I'm good at.
Eric:Website, westchesterhomesale.com.
You can get me on email.
If you just Google Eric Stein RE/MAX, everything's gonna pop up.
Dana:Or you can just call or text his wife, and I'll connect you with him because I'm good at that.
Eric:Correct.
Closing
Dana:Baby love, thank you for being here and for being the greatest partner ever.
Eric:Thank you.
Dana:Ever, ever.
Eric:Thank you for having me. It was fun.
Dana:Hopefully we'll have you back.
You wanna come back and we can keep it real?
Eric:Get a Part 2, Part 4, Part 9 on this.
Dana:Part 13 years. That's what we're working with right now.
Eric:There you go.
Dana:Thank you for being here.
Eric:My pleasure.
Dana:Thank you guys for listening.
If you have questions or anything, you can drop them in the show notes.
And for everyone listening, I am Dana Carretta-Stein. This is The Truth About Healing, and I'm here to remind you that:
We repeat what we don't repair.
Take care.
Podcast Disclaimer
This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice. Listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need support, contact a licensed professional or your local emergency services.
Crisis Support: If you're in crisis, call or text 988 in the U.S. or contact your local emergency number.
Transcript lightly edited for readability while preserving the meaning and conversational tone of the original recording
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The Truth About Healing is about looking beyond the surface and understanding what's really driving our patterns, emotions, relationships, and behaviors.
Through honest conversations, trauma-informed insights, and nervous system education, Dana challenges common beliefs about healing and offers a more compassionate way to understand ourselves.
Because healing isn't about becoming someone new. It's about understanding what shaped you, repairing what still impacts you, and creating space for something different.
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We repeat what we don't repair.
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