Episode 24: How Do You Break the Trauma Cycle? with Lawrence C. Harris
Episode 24: How Do You Break the Trauma Cycle? with Lawrence C. Harris
How do you break the trauma cycle when the patterns you are trying to change are the only ones you have ever known? According to this week's guest, it starts with getting curious about where those patterns came from.
In Episode 24 of The Truth About Healing Podcast, Dana Carretta-Stein sits down with Lawrence C. Harris, a 20-year-old youth empowerment speaker and author who helps teenagers and young adults build confidence, strengthen their decision-making skills, and develop self-worth and a sense of direction for their future.
Lawrence shares how a childhood of never quite fitting in, abuse at home starting at age 12, and a PTSD diagnosis became the why behind everything he does today. With support from his mom, his therapist, and a lot of honest conversations with himself, he learned to notice his patterns, get curious about them, and choose something different.
Dana brings the EMDR and nervous system lens to the conversation, explaining why cognitive distortions come from a dysregulated nervous system, why co-regulation is a developmental need we all have, and how Lawrence was using a version of EMDR's future template long before he knew the name for it.
And it raises an important question:
What pattern are you repeating right now, and where did you first learn it?
Listen on Your Favorite Podcast Platform
Episode Highlights
In this episode, Dana and Lawrence talk about:
Why most people are repeating a relationship blueprint they learned growing up without realizing it
Why the hardest part of being the one who changes a family pattern is disconnecting from what feels familiar
How Lawrence used imagination and the question "What would I do if I loved myself?" to get out of bed and back into his life
Why cognitive distortions and constant threat-scanning come from a nervous system set for an environment you are no longer in
Why co-regulation is a necessary developmental milestone, and what happens when we miss it
How to start tolerating stillness, even if it is only 90 seconds at a time
Acceptance, accountability, and the price of giving up feeling bad in order to feel good
Memorable Quote
“Sometimes the price is give up feeling bad in order to feel good.” - Lawrence C. Harris
Want to Respond to This Episode or Ask a Question?
I'd love to hear from you.
Use the form below to:
Share feedback about this episode
Ask a question for a future episode
Suggest a topic you'd like covered
Share your experience or insight
Further Learning & Resources
Discover journals, workbooks, consultation resources, and recommended tools designed to support both personal healing and professional growth.
EMDR Therapy Progress Journal
The EMDR Therapy Progress Journal helps clients track healing progress, identify
patterns, document insights, and stay connected to their therapeutic journey between sessions.
Perfect for:
EMDR clients
Trauma recovery work
Reflection between sessions
Tracking healing milestones
EMDR Coach Treatment Planning Workbook
Designed specifically for EMDR therapists, this workbook helps simplify case
conceptualization, target sequencing, and treatment planning.
Ideal for:
EMDR-trained clinicians
EMDR consultation groups
Organizing complex cases
Strengthening treatment planning skills
Meet Lawrence C. Harris
Lawrence C. Harris is a youth empowerment speaker and author who helps teenagers and young adults build confidence, strengthen their decision-making skills, and develop self-worth and a sense of direction for their future.
Drawing from his own experiences with childhood abuse, living with autism, and facing mental health challenges, he has made it his mission to help others think, feel, and live differently. With four years of speaking experience and appearances on more than 40 podcasts, Lawrence has worked with organizations including NAMI and Youth Infusion Incorporated.
His work focuses on practical strategies young people can use to overcome self-doubt, navigate challenges, and take meaningful action toward their goals. He writes and self-publishes his own books, and speaks at high schools, youth organizations, and mental health groups.
Explore his work:
Website and books: lawrencecharris.com
Speaking and podcast inquiries: lawrence@lawrencecharris.com
Speeches and social media: Lawrence C Empowers on YouTube and social platforms
More Episodes From The Truth About Healing Podcast
If this conversation resonated, these recent episodes go deeper:
Meet Our Host Dana Carretta-Stein, LMHC
Dana Carretta-Stein is an LMHC, EMDRIA Approved Consultant, founder of The EMDR Coach, and founder of Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling (PLMHC).
Her work focuses on trauma-informed therapy, nervous system healing, EMDR therapy, attachment patterns, and helping people understand the deeper roots behind emotional and behavioral patterns.
Dana blends neuroscience, trauma-informed education, and direct honesty in a way that helps listeners feel both validated and challenged to think differently about healing.
Her core belief: Symptoms make sense when you understand the nervous system underneath them.
Trauma-Informed Therapy Through PLMHC
Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling provides trauma-informed therapy for children, teens, and adults.
Services include support for:
Overthinking
Burnout
Trauma
Emotional overwhelm
Nervous system dysregulation
PLMHC offers in-person therapy in Scarsdale and virtual therapy throughout New York, Connecticut, Florida, and Colorado.
If you’ve been searching for trauma-informed therapy in Westchester or EMDR therapy in Scarsdale, support is available.
Full Episode Transcript: How Do You Break the Trauma Cycle? with Lawrence C. Harris
Welcome to another episode of The Truth About Healing, the podcast that's here to challenge everything you think you knew about therapy. I'm Dana Carretta Stein, EMDR and neuro-informed therapist, and I'm on a mission to help 10 million people change their patterns, relationships, and future generations by teaching them how to gain control of their nervous system.
Let's go with it. Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of The Truth About Healing podcast. I'm so excited for our episode today. Um, I think it's gonna be a really inspirational one. I am here with Lawrence C. Harris, and Lawrence C. Harris is a youth empowerment speaker and author who helps teenagers and young adults build confidence, strengthen their decision-making skills, and develop self-worth, a sense of direction for their future.
Drawing from his own experiences with childhood abuse, living with autism, and having faced mental health challenges, he has made it his mission to help others think, feel, and live differently. With four years of speaking experience and appearances on more than 40 podcasts, Lawrence has worked with organizations including NAMI and Youth Infusion Incorporated.
His work focuses on practical strategies young people can use to overcome self-doubt, navigate challenges, and take meaningful action toward their goals. Through speaking, writing, and coaching, Lawrence is committed to helping the next generation recognize their potential, develop a stronger sense of self-worth, and create a future they believe is possible.
Lawrence, welcome to The Truth About Healing. Thank you. It's wonderful to be here. I'm so excited to have you. So a little background, like, how we got here. So we get applications sometimes for podcast guests, and I saw Lawrence's and was like, "Oh, this kid's a badass." "I need to meet him." Like, it's... To be... You're 20 years old? Yep. 20 years old and having achieved everything that you achieve, and just, it's very rare, like I said to you outside, we were chatting, it's very rare to see someone your age have such motivation and such a drive to, you know, make a difference in this world, and it was really inspiring.
I was like, "Oh, that's, like, the perfect fit for this podcast and the vision for it." Thank you. You know, something I was thinking about on the way here is that when people have a strong reason behind what they do, you can accomplish a lot really fast. Yeah. Yep, when you know your why, right? Yeah. Yeah. So tell us a little bit about your why.
Lawrence's Why: Never Fitting In and a Childhood That Changed Overnight
What drives you? Well, my why can really be traced down to a childhood where I never really fit in. Like, I have this one very vivid memory where I'm sitting on the playground just swinging. Mm. And I'm, I'm eight years old at this time thinking, like, "Why do none of these other kids like me?" Mm. "Why don't they wanna play with me? Why am I feeling so..." Outside the group. Yeah. Like, what's going on with me? Mm. And over years it became not just is there something I'm doing, but is there something wrong with me? Right.
Then at the age of 12, my dad became abusive to me and my younger siblings. Mm. And you know, being the oldest, you wanna protect the people around you. Sure, yeah. But you're 12. Right, you're still a kid. Not really much you can do. Right. That led me down the path of eventually getting therapy, and man, thank you to my mom for getting me that, because I needed it. Yeah. And, uh, yeah, a whole lot of years of healing, a whole lot of years of some tough conversations with myself- Yeah ... and doing everything it took to become who I am today. Wow. And it took a lot. Yeah.
Like, how, how did your mom know that you needed therapy, that it would help you? It was blatantly obvious, where one moment I'm this super talkative, hyperactive kid just bouncing off the walls with all these daydreaming ideas. Yeah. The next, I come home with a black eye and I don't wanna talk to nobody. Oh. Like, I'm withdrawing myself from everyone around me. Yeah. I'm playing 12 hours of video games a day, I'm not going outside, not brushing my teeth. Like, it was blatantly obvious. Y- like, a total shift in your personality. Yeah, it was overnight, essentially. Oh, wow. Wow.
And was that from, like, everything that was going on with your dad, stuff at- Yeah ... school, everything? It was a combination of, like, all of it. Yeah, yeah. So how... like, how long was the span of, you know, when you were enduring that to when you actually started talking about it, getting help and therapy? Well, my mom got me therapy within two weeks of all this happening. Wow. Because like I said, it, it was blatantly obvious- Yeah ... where I just wasn't talking to people. Right. And that's really weird, 'cause you know, Lawrence as a kid, which is weird to think 'cause I'm 20, but I was even more talkative when I was younger. Yeah. So she knew, "He needs help." Yeah. Like, "That's, that's not my son." Yeah. Like, something's different.
Starting Therapy at 12 and Learning to Open Up
So it, it took a lot of... it took a lot for me to open up- Yeah ... but once I did, my therapist was able to help me so much. How'd you feel going in... like, how old were you when you started therapy? Were you 12, or- Yeah ... what was that experience like for you going in, of like, you know, it's not something you've probably done before? The first thing that came to mind when I started going was, like, you don't- I'm trying to put myself back in that mental space of what- Yeah ... 12-year-old Lawrence was thinking. Yeah.
Part of it is you don't want to admit that you have a problem- Mm ... because you don't wanna, like, face it. Yeah. No, you wanna, like, just pretend everything's great and I'm fine and- Right ... I'm going to be okay on my own, even though you know deep down you won't. Yeah. But you just don't wanna say it out loud. Yeah. You don't wanna kind of admit the pain you're in. Yeah. So my mom was the one who, during that intake session, she let my therapist know, "Here's what's going on." Yeah. So I didn't have to say it myself. Yeah. It was just- My mom helped me so much with that process.
Yeah, and that- that's a wonderful parent to help- Yeah ... 'cause it is scary, right? And that's where a parent can lead and say like, you know, this is kind of what like get you started. Yeah. And then let you kind of take it from there. And that's something I really appreciated that she did, where it was... No, she got me on the path, but then after that, it was me walking it. Yeah. It was a whole support system around me because- Yeah ... trying to navigate high school, and then you got COVID, and then you have- Oh, yeah ... just everything all at once. Mm.
That's where the why behind all the stuff I do now comes from. I just, I don't want other people to feel how I felt. Mm. And when I go outside, I can see it on a person. Yeah. Like, like I can see somebody who they have a great job, and you know, they, on the surface they have all the good things, but I can see deep down there's something that they're not addressing. Yeah. It becomes like a sixth sense, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah. It's like a, like I call like a Spidey sense. It's attunement. Yeah, and the- Empathy. Like you can see.
Repeating Patterns: The Blueprint You Don't Know You're Following
Yeah, and the issue with it is that there's so many people in so many different ways, whether it's young people or adults who are dealing with severe thing that they're not even aware of. Like- Right ... they don't know that the reason why they keep... Let's just use the example of a relationship. The reason why they keep picking people who are bad for them- Yeah ... it really come down to that's how their parents treated them. Mm-hmm. But they don't wanna address that, so they just are asking, "Where are all the good people at?" Right. But you have to- Yeah ... become good to yourself- Right ... before you can have someone be good to you. Right.
They don't realize like they're really just repeating a pattern. Yeah. Right? I call it like a blueprint, right? So like how relationships are, like is it's a blueprint for what we know about relationships, and when we just follow that pattern, and there's the disconnect of, oh, that was a pattern and I'm repeating it. There's not a connection there of like, "Oh, I want a good person," like you said. Yeah. And where, where are they? It's something where, like you said, repeating that pattern. Most people don't even know what pattern they're running on. Most people don't notice patterns. It's, yeah, that's like a, a skill set I think you and I both probably- share, right?
Yeah, it sounds so simple, but being able to recognize- Yeah ... why is this happening. Right. I- it sounds so simple, but- It sounds so simple- It's not ... but it's so hard for so many people. 'Cause you trace it back long enough, it can go to some real dark places. Yeah, yeah. It's that, like we were talking about like before we turned like the mics and stuff on, just even like generationally, like patterns that go back generation, generation of- Oh, what is the pattern that keeps repeating here, and do I wanna be the one to change a pattern? Yeah. And, you know, break that, whatever that is, and be your own person and change the trajectory.
How to Break the Trauma Cycle When the Pattern Feels Familiar
Yeah, and that's, that's something I encourage a lot of people to do. Yeah. But the hardest part of being the one to change that pattern is disconnecting from it. Like- Yep. It's familiar. Yeah. You're telling someone that you might have to disconnect from the way that you saw relationships as a child- Yeah ... the way that your family spends and manages their money, the way that you were raised, the thing that you were told you can and cannot do. Mm-hmm.
Like, I was on a podcast a while back, and this lady was explaining how her mom told her that, "You need to get a real job," when she was, like, seven years old and said she wanted to become a writer. Mm. And then that led to this whole chain of events where she ends up working this corporate office job and is, like, super depressed about it, all because when her mom was seven, she was told, "You need to get a real job- Yeah ... instead of becoming a writer." Right. Eventually- So she learned that that was not a real job. Yes. Right. Like, what even is a real job? Right. It was really her mom's perspective, her own perception of what a real job was, but it's not true. You can... My dad always said, "You love what you do, you never work a day in your life." Yep. You, you have a passion.
Yeah, and even with that, it's sometimes when- Parents naturally, and I say this with all due respect to any, like, parents who are listening to this, you want the best for your child. Right. But your version of the best for your child might not be what they want. Right. Like, your kid might want to become a ... I'll use myself as an example. When I told my mom I wanted to become a public speaker and do that as a career, her first thought was, "You know, no one in our family had done that before." I was 15 at the time. You don't know anybody who'd done that before. You know, "Yeah, I know that you're good at what you do," but I wasn't as good as I am now. Like, I was 15, no website- Yeah ... no YouTube channel, no nothing.
Failure, Risk, and Taking a Gamble on Yourself
No one's ever, no one's ever great when they first start. Yeah. They, they, you have to, like, start, fail, fail again, fa- and keep go- Like, learn from all of those things to, and to keep growing. Yeah. It's the best way to really, to grow. And, you know, you fail. You only really have to be right one time. Yeah. Yeah. It's ... I say to my son all the time, "We learn so much more from our failures than we ever learn from the things that we do right." Yes. Yeah.
And even then, with the idea of failure, that's really only something that exists in your head. Right. Like- As, like, a bad thing, right? Yeah. It's like, okay, so the ex- An example I use a lot is how the person who has scored the most basketball shots in history was Michael Jordan. He also is the person who shot the most and failed the most. Yeah. Yeah. So ... Or- You gotta take a risk. Yeah. Or you could think of somebody, like the example of Elon Musk. He had, like, nine rocket ships blow up- Yeah. ... before one worked. Right. Right. Yeah.
He's- So sometimes you have to be willing to take a gamble on yourself- Gotta be brave ... whether it means- Yeah ... you know, just going for something big in life, or something as seemingly simple- Right ... as admitting, "How did I get myself here in this position?" Right. For better or worse. Right. I'm hearing how brave you are. Yeah. 'Cause to do something that there is no example, no, like, path to follow, but to figure it out, is incredibly brave. Thank you. I mean, it's something that ... I've had a lot of people throughout my life who have taught me these things. Yeah?
Door-to-Door Sales and "You've Been Through Worse"
Like, I used to work in door-to-door sales. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, what ... Selling what? Solar panels. Amazing. Amazing. And every- That's a great, like, first gig to really learn, like, so many skills for life. It is. I did it three days after graduating high school. Oh, wow. And while I was out there, we had to, I had to learn, like, cold outreach, how to go a really long time without sleeping. Yep. Stress management. I broke down and cried in so many people's lawns. Yeah? Like, I had cops called on me. It was a mess. And you kept going. Yeah. How'd you do that?
Just reminding myself of, like, "Lawrence, you've been through worse." Mm. Like, for... It's kind of... I can look back on all the traumatic things I've been through as a kid- Yeah ... and in a way, I can remind myself, "Lawrence, you literally got kicked out at 13 and somehow managed to still be here." Wow. "So you've been through worse. Lawrence, you used to be, like, so depressed you couldn't even eat. You've been through worse." Yeah. "So remind yourself that, like, yeah, life might be hard right now, but it used to be a lot harder before." Yeah. "So if that didn't kill you, then this won't." Right. It kind of, like, kind of checks you a little bit. Yeah.
Creating a World Inside This World: Lawrence's Future Template
It's like- How did you get through those times that were worse? Like, how did they not break you? Honestly, I had to create a whole imaginary world in my head. Okay. It's like you have to sometimes create a world in this world- Yes ... where before you- Before you can achieve something that is like Vastly out of your familiar. Mm-hmm. So at that time of my life it was, "I just wanna wake up and be happy." Yeah. That was it. Yeah. Like, I wasn't focused on I wanna make a lotta money, I want to get the prettiest girl in high school, I wanna get a fast car. No, it wasn't none of that. I just wanna wake up and be happy. Yeah. That was it.
So I started to imagine what would my life be like if I didn't have these problems? Mm. What would it be like to wake up and, you know, be happy? What would it be like to love myself again? What would it be like to not be afraid to be me? Yeah. And I would just create a little imaginary world- Yeah ... where I didn't have these problems, and I was able to, you know, kind of be like a little superhero in my own imagination. Yeah. And from- We have a term for that in EMDR. You basically just did future template on yourself. Yeah. That's what that is, is- And- like i- flashing forward to imagining you've worked through everything now and it's not a problem. Yeah.
"What Would I Do If I Loved Myself?"
And from there I started asking, "What would I do if I loved myself?" Mm. Like, what would I do? Well, Lawrence, you know, you'd probably go outside and take yourself to a nice restaurant. So I started doing that. You would, you know, buy yourself a nice outfit. So I did that. You would, you know, read. You'd go to the gym. You'd take a shower. You'd brush your teeth. And I just made this list of, like, what would you do- Right ... if you loved yourself, and I started doing those things. Yeah. And eventually I was like, "Huh, this feels a whole lot better than- Yeah ... rotting in my bed." Yeah. Like, who knew- Yeah ... that sunlight would make you happier? Right. Right. And- Like movement and taking care of yourself. Yeah.
Or even something as ... You know, when I first started doing this, my family was like ... They, they looked at me, like, a little funny. Yeah. I would listen to, like, music- Yeah ... that was overly positive. Yeah. Like Pocketful of Sunshine by Natasha Beddingfield. It's a great one. It's really hard to be sad listening to that. Yeah, just the beat alone, everything is, you know, mobilizing. Yeah. Yeah.
And then I started getting into, like, what do I want my life to look like? Hmm. And that's kinda how I stumbled onto being a public speaker, where I was like, "Hey, I'm figured out how to get outta bed." Yeah. "I should make a TikTok about this." Y- It, it might help somebody. Yeah. Right? Yeah. If I could do it, somebody else c- ... I can maybe let someone else know that they could do it too. Yeah. That's really the goal. I love that.
Purpose Over Money: What Really Drives You
It's like, yeah, of course, you know, I like the idea of being able to make some money in the process- Right ... but ultimately it come down to I wanna help those kids to not be rotting in their bed for the rest of their life. Right. Right. 'Cause a lotta people get stuck there. Yep. Yeah, and that's, that's what drives you. Back to that why is like, is helping people. Yeah. Helping people feel better, to heal, to, you know, we have like our... My vision has always been, you know, 10 million people helped by 2020, 2035. So in 10 years, like can we help 10 million people? Yeah. You know, like you said, like the money, yes, we have to make a living and stuff, and that's, but that's not what drives us. Yeah. That's the, the byproduct of like, you know, having bills and things like that. But that's what gets you up, is actually making a difference. Yes.
Because before I started making money on this, there was years where you weren't making anything. Yeah. So- And you kept going. Yeah. So if the driving force was money, I would've just got a job. Yeah. Like I would've just... And it's nothing against it, obviously. I mean, I worked at McDonald's. But if money were the thing, I would've just became the manager at McDonald's. Right. And I would've been content with that. Right. But I realized- But you wouldn't have been fulfilled 'cause it didn't drive you. Yeah.
Because they're just, you know- And keep in mind, I haven't made millions or anything, but I've realized something very important. Yes, money gets you cool stuff. Mm-hmm. And up to a certain point, it does make your life tremendously better. Right. But you start to realize that, yeah, it's really cool, but there's only so many cars you can buy. Yeah, and eventually, like, how the brain works is the dopamine kind of, like, loses its effect, right? Yeah. So if you have unlimited money, you get, get, get, eventually, like, it, it doesn't have the same effect anymore. Yeah. You almost become numb to it.
Dopamine, Effort, and Why the Easy Path Keeps Us Stuck
Yeah, so you start chasing more and more and more. Right. And it can get really unhealthy really fast because- Yeah ... you know, you give a addict a million dollars, they're gonna find a much stronger thing to do. Right. Exactly, and they'll just keep upping the ante, versus if you're addicted to helping people, what a beautiful thing. Yeah. Right? It's like, you know, I heard somewhere that everyone is a dope addict. We all just use different things, and- It's an interesting concept. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because at the root of it is dopamine, so it's pretty, you know, direct correlation there.
Well, we think about, like we said, what drives us, right? Dopamine is the, like, reward and pleasure neurotransmitter. So and it feels good. Yeah. It feels good to get that. So yeah, we're all gonna be seeking and, and doing something to try to get that effect. So if it... we're doing it in healthy ways, what's the problem, right? Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that. It's when it becomes harmful to ourselves and to others, that's when we like, "Hmm, let's try to find something that drives you instead." Yeah.
The challenge is that the unhealthy things are so easy to get. Yes. Like, if somebody... The thought of, hey, would you rather sit in your bed and have to just swipe your thumb, and you have constant novelty- Constant ... unlimited information, unlimited whatever you wanna watch. Would you rather do that? Or would you rather get out of bed, get dressed, put on your sh- put on your clothes and shoes, drive a mile and a half to the gym, go work out for an hour, and then come back home, and then scroll on your phone? Right. You'd much rather go with the first option. It's easier, right? Yeah. The path of least resistance.
Or, you know, would you rather eat a salad or a burger that had been scientifically engineered- Mm ... to taste good in a way that you can't get used to? Right. Right. Versus putting in the effort to growing something- Yeah ... and putting in, like we were talking before, about, like, the right fertilizer, the right soil, the right growing conditions. Put the effort in to have something that tastes really good, and it tastes so much better when you know that, the effort that went into it. Yes, it does. Yeah. So much better, right? Like you said, that tomato that you grew, like, it was so good. Yeah. And you, you figured out, like, how to make it that good. It's, it's different when the effort's there.
Writing, Fishing, and Being a Participant in Your Own Life
Yeah, and it's, it's that effort of being able to look at something and know I made this. Yeah. Like, one of the things I love doing is writing, and writing a book is a very long process. Yes, it is. It- Yes, it is ... you're talking about you gotta come up with an idea for the thing, and then I make my own covers, and I make my own Amazon descriptions. Like, I do- Yeah ... my whole publishing A to Z. Yeah. And I ship them to people. Wow. So I handle my whole, my whole thing. Yeah.
And writing a book, it's- You might spend a month just to make one chapter- Yeah ... because you're like, "There's... I don't know what it is, but there's something that I need to convey- Right ... but it's not coming across how I want it to come across." Yep. It's like you, you try, that's not it. You try again until you- Yeah ... get it. And it's that rush, like that- Mm-hmm ... emotion of trial and error- Yeah ... that I think people have kind of forgotten in a way. You're right. You're so right. Because everything's so easy- They just wanna get there ... both of the time. They just wanna get there. It's- They want, like, the end result immediately. Yeah.
Like, I... One of the things I do for my own, like, maintaining my mental health now is fishing. Oh. And- I love that. Yeah. When... My son and I just started fishing last year. It's amazing. Absolutely, because you're... People think that they want the fish. Mm-hmm. I want the money. I want the car. I want the relationship. I want the big house. I want the promotion. Yep. But then you get it, and you're happy for, like, five minutes, and then you're like, "Okay, I have a fish now, but, but now what?" Right. But it's not catching the fish that the best part.
It's the process- Yeah ... of, like, where are they gonna be? Yeah. What's the right bait? When are they gonna bite? Yep. You know- How long? ... what size hook do I use? Yeah. Yeah. You know, how far down do I put it? Do I, like, need to bounce it up and down a little bit? And- Yeah ... and it's all these little thing that bring you back to the present moment and realize- Mm-hmm ... that you're alive. Yeah. Like, I think people need to- You're interacting with your world. Yes. Yeah. You know- Rather than just existing in it. Yeah. We've... We can become very passive on our approach to life instead of being a real participant in it. That is so well said. So well said.
Yeah, 'cause, you know, it's really easy to just watch TV and watch someone else play the game- Yeah ... and watch someone else do that thing, and you're like, "You know, that looks really cool," but we don't even dare to think of- Right ... what if I did that? Right. And, and not- Use my hands. Yeah. And- And create, right? Yes. Yeah. And, like, creating something that no one in your family has ever seen before. Mm-hmm. Like, creating something that little kid you would go, "That's me? What?" "I did that?" Yeah. Yeah.
Transformation: The Caterpillar Has to Be Still
Like, if eight-year-old Lawrence met me today- Yeah, what would he say? He would be in awe. Does he see everything that he turned out to be? Yes. It's... And it's kinda funny because in the process of, you know, growing as not only a person but just in every stage of life- It k- it eventually dawned upon me that there comes a point where you completely transform who you were- Mm-hmm ... into who you are. Like- Yeah ... you know, caterpillars. A caterpillar looks nothing like a butterfly. Nothing At all. A tadpole looks nothing like a frog. Right. They don't even breathe the same thing. You know, tadpoles need water. Frogs, they need to stay wet. Right. But they don't breathe water. Right. They have lungs. Right. You know? Totally transform into something completely different. Yeah. Yeah. That- That's growth. Yeah, it is. That's growth.
The part that people don't like to look at, though, is to become a butterfly you have to melt down. And you have to be still and cocoon for a little bit. Yeah. And that's ... You're so right. Like, even the fishing analogy, to just be still and wait. Yeah. Everybody's so action addict- addicted, of like, "I, I gotta do something. I gotta do something right now, blah, blah, blah." Sit still- Yeah ... rest, and let the hard work pay off as well. Same thing with gardening, right? It's like- Yeah ... you know, there's such a thing as, like, overdoing it, right? Yeah. You can overwater, you can over-prune, and then the plant dies. There's something to be said for just rest. Yeah.
You know, even most people don't even rest, sleep properly. Right. It's like they're, like you said, addicted to action. And of course there's a good quality and, you know, you wanna take action, you know, you wanna put the work in, you wanna do stuff. Right. But sometimes the smartest thing you can do is do nothing, and just sit there and, like, look around and go, "Look at what I made." Right. To stop and enjoy, too. S- enjoy the effort.
Driven by "Not Good Enough" vs. Driven by Purpose
It's ... I think what you're describing is the driving force of, like ... Because someone who doesn't sit still is really driven by, like, not good enough. Yeah. Not good enough, I have to keep going, blah, blah, blah. Versus someone else who's driven by passion and purpose is, "I know I'm good enough and- Yeah ... I'm gonna keep creating, and just because I stop and rest doesn't mean I'm gonna stop creating or doesn't mean that I'm not good enough or there's something wrong with me." Yeah. It's that this is what I'm supposed to do to be able to keep going. Yes.
Like, and you just said something so important I wanna make sure we highlight. The fact that a lot of people are driven by not good enough. Mm-hmm. And asking ourself, "Well, where did that come from?" Yep. Like, why do you feel that way? Yeah. And it's important that you ask yourself these questions not in a judging way, not in a shaming- Yeah ... why do I think this about myself way, but- But just a curious ... yeah, like a curious why? Yeah. That's so- Like, why do I think this? Who told me that? Yeah. When did I learn this?
And unfortunately- That's great. Like you just said, when did I learn that, right? Yeah. That's a, a hallmark of EMDR therapy is where we do the float back of when, okay, that's the core belief. Float back to another time in your life, when do you remember thinking, feeling, acting the same way? Feeling the sa- having the same thought? And then we make that list of target memories. Sometimes there is no explicit memory. It's sometimes there's traumatic experiences that happen before the age of three that there's not gonna be a, a visual memory of, but the body remembers. Yeah. But like you said, where did you learn that? Yes. That curiosity is the most important starting point of healing. Yes, it is. Yeah.
Cognitive Distortions and a Dysregulated Nervous System
Like, when I was in therapy, I got sp- it was specifically cognitive behavioral therapy. Yeah? Because my main problem was I needed to learn how to control my emotions. Mm. Like, I would go zero to 100 very fast. So you had trouble with regulating? Yeah. Yeah. It was ... The main issue was that I could create the term for it is a cognitive distortion- Mm ... where you 100% believe the story you just told yourself. Yep. And you find your own evidence to prove it right. Confirmation bias. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And you start to confirm the confirmation- Yep ... and- You look for all the things that kind of match that ... yeah.
Like, someone could have said, "Why did you wear those shoes?" Completely curious question, "Why'd you wear those shoes?" Right. In your head, you're imagining, "They must not like me. They must hate my outfit. They must think I'm a terrible person," and you create this whole story- Right ... of why they think you're a terrible person all because of, "Why'd you wear those shoes?" Right. And you start imagining subtle undertones. Yeah.
So. And all that starts, and this is where, like, cognitive behavioral therapy is integrated into EMDR. Yeah. It's an element of it, but it's top-down and bottom-up, and there is no right or wrong answer of, like, which works best for- Yeah ... everybody's different, but that those distortions, those cognitive distortions are from a dysregulated nervous system. Yes, it is. Right?
Why Co-Regulation Comes Before Self-Regulation
Like you said, like, I, you know, I couldn't regulate my emotions. Like, and a lot of times it's when we think back to when we're growing up, we're not born with the ability to self-regulate. Yeah. Co-regulation is a necessary developmental milestone that we all need to experience, and if we don't, we're going to have trouble regulating as adults. Yeah. We're all, like, you know, born of these little blobs of meat. Yeah. And our brain is just a little wet computer. Yeah. And it gets programmed to everything that's around us.
Human beings are one of the few mammals that are not born, like, done, like, fully cooked. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, like a horse is born and in, like, an hour it's walking, right? Human beings, we're born, but then we still need to be nurtured, and we still need help growing on the outside- Yeah ... versus, like, other mammals usually are fully grown and are good to go. That's not the case for us. You know, we still need... We're completely helpless for three years at least- Well, I- ... before we start walking. Yeah. And then, you know, I'm 40 years old and I'm still like, "Mom, can you come over? And..." Well, like, so we're just relational people, but we need help with co-regulation of someone growing up when we're dysregulated to show us what it looks like to be able to regulate. Yeah. Yeah.
When Your Nervous System Is Set for an Environment You're No Longer In
The challenge a lot of people face is when they don't have that as a child- Yeah ... where maybe they were raised in a really chaotic household- Right ... or they were raised in, you know, a dangerous environment. Right. Their nervous system is pretty much set to, like, there is always a threat. Mm-hmm. Yeah. They could be at work and their boss send them an email, and their brain goes to, "I'm about to get fired." Right. When all it was is email from John. Right. Right. But in their, like, their system interprets it as this must be a threat.
Right, because think about how that system had to be that way growing up- Yeah ... because there probably was always a threat. Yeah. So to constantly scan because you had to. Yeah, and it's It's y- it was set for an environment that you're no longer in. Correct. And- That's, th- literally you just described PTSD. Yeah. Right? Like, I was diagnosed with it when I was like 12. Yeah. So- Yeah ... I had to learn how to pretty much rewire the system- Mm-hmm ... so that I could go outside and not always think, "Is there somebody behind that bush?" Right. Or- Not always get triggered.
Yeah. Or why do certain music or certain, even something as simple as certain shades of brown. Mm. Because there was this carpet inside of this house that was this very specific shade of brown, and unfortunately, the house that I also lived in at my mom's place had that same type of carpet because- Oh, wow ... it came with the house, and we could not remove that. Right. So you're just constantly getting triggered. Yeah. Yeah.
Journaling, Curiosity, and Becoming the Authority on You
So I got into journaling as one of the best ways for me to just get curious in the moment of, what is going on? Yeah. Like, why do I feel this? Right. And I would just write it out. It he- that helped probably slow you down. Yeah, it does so much. Yeah. Because not only does it occupy you physically, but it also can occupy you mentally. Yeah. And when I would go, you know, see my therapist, I would say like, "Okay, over the last week, here's what I figured out about myself. Let's work on this right here."
You're like the ideal client, right? You're like- Yeah ... this is what I, like, the wor- and that's so much what we say, too, is like if there's a lot of therapy that's done outside of a therapy space, like outside of the room, and then it's coming back, "Okay, let's, this is what I came up with. Like, let's see where this goes." Yeah. To get more curious and connect those dots even more. Yeah. You know, I like to imagine that nobody knows you as well as you know yourself. Nobody does. Yeah. And nobody should know you better than you know yourself. Yep. I'll always tell my clients, "You're the authority on you." Yeah. I ask the questions, but I, no one will know you as well as you know yourself.
Yeah, and it can be a little scary sometimes- Yeah ... in the sense of like, you get to a point where you notice your behavior as you're doing it. Yes. And- Yeah ... you're like, "Why am I even doing this?" Right. And you stop. But that's discernment, right? Yeah. Discernment is that ability to, like, catch yourself and go like, "Okay." Right now my nervous system is reacting like it's 10 years ago where this response was probably appropriate. Why am I doing that now? It doesn't... I don't see any danger. Oh, I can stop it. Yeah.
Learning to Tolerate Stillness
It is- Yeah ... when you just sit still and you stop running and rushing, that's when it hits you. Yeah. Where you realize, like, "Oh, I have actually been running on fumes for I don't know how long." Right. Right. Like I tell people- Running on cortisol. Mm-hmm ... just set a 30-minute timer or one hour, however long you wanna do, just set your phone down and just do nothing. Yep. Don't say anything. Also, people s- start with 90 seconds ... don't read anything. Right? Don't watch anything, don't have any music playing, don't talk to anybody. Yeah. 30 minutes or however long you can handle it- Yeah ... of just- Start as small as, as needed to be- Yeah ... able to s- begin s- to tolerate stillness. Yeah.
And- Yeah ... that's when You know, that's part of what I love about fishing, where it's not just the activity you're doing, but it's that waiting period where- Yeah ... you're with yourself, where you're with your thoughts. Mm-hmm. You're with, "What's going on inside of me?" Right. Like, what's going on in there? Yeah. And ideas will come up of things like, thing that either you can improve upon, or you also get reminded of like, you've come a lot farther than you think. Yeah. You're doing better than you think you are. Right. You- You get that time to self-reflect. Yeah. You know, we look so much out at the world that we don't ever really look at our own reflection. Our inner world. Yeah. Mm-hmm. It's like, you know, if- And that's where all the answers are.
Survival Mode and Giving Yourself Permission to Want
Yeah, it is. And the funniest part about it is when you ask yourself, "Well, w- what do I want?" Mm-hmm. A lot of people never ask that. Like- They probably never had space to, right? Yeah. To be able... I just said this to a friend of mine yesterday, like, you know, going through certain situations, you don't have t- time or space, whatever, to actually be able to say, "What do I want?" 'Cause you're in survival mode. Yeah. And- And because you need to be. Yeah, and it's- And then being out of it, it takes a while to really be like, "Oh, I actually can ask myself what do I want." Mm. That's different, and that's a lear- a thing to get used to. Yes, it is. Yeah. Yeah.
You know, because people have never had the freedom to ask themselves that or, you know, a lot of people grow up in an environment where they're told not to ask themselves that. Right. Whether directly or indirectly of, you know, they're focused on, "What do I need to do?" Mm-hmm. Like, "There's no food in the refrigerator." Right. "There is no water in the sink." Right. They're focused on needs. Needs. Yeah. Yeah. But even when they get out of that stage, like you said, there's come to a point where you have to allow yourself to want what you want. Right. Not just what mom and dad said you should want. Right. Not just what the TV said you should want. Yeah. Not what your third grade teacher said you should want. Right. But what do I actually want for my life?
Well, that's what like, like my son and my daughter both, they're, you know, "I don't wanna do this or do that," and I'll say, "That's okay. You don't have to want to. You have to do it because we all have responsibilities, but you don't have to want to." Yeah. And that's all right. You're allowed to not want to, and you still have to- Yeah ... you still have to brush your teeth even though you don't want to. Like, it's- Yeah ... that's okay. In a perfect world, you know, nobody would have to pay their rent, in a perfect world. Right. But we don't live in that. Right. Yeah. You know? It's some- we can't get everything. Like, i- if it was everything was a free-for-all, it- the world would have no order, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Acceptance Comes Before Change
But like- But that's an important aspect for us to be aware of. Yeah. There's like a point of acceptance- Yes ... greatest things I had to do- Mm-hmm ... of, like, understanding, okay, I'm in a situation that I don't want to be in. I don't enjoy this. Yeah. But It is what it currently is. And, and in a weird way, accepting, "Okay, here is where I am right now." Mm-hmm. And, like, accepting this is my circumstance right now. Right. But the key word is right now. Right. So with what I have, what can I do?
Like- It's just, yeah, the acceptance and, like, I've said this before, one of my favorite sayings, Carl Rogers, you know, founder of person-centered therapy- Yeah ... is, "The curious paradox is, only when I accept myself as I am do I then have the capacity to change." Yeah. And it's very much like what we resist persists. The more we fight something, when we fight something, like, the more we make it actually more difficult for us to do anything about it. Yeah. But for, if we accept where we are and accept our circumstances, it doesn't mean we have to stay in them, but we have to accept where we are right now, and that gives us the space to go, "Okay, this is where I am, and what do I want?" Yeah.
It's, it's really easy to say, it's hard to do. Mm-hmm. Because to accept that I'm about to get evicted- Right ... to accept that, like, to accept the reality that I am about to get evicted- Yeah ... that's a hard thing to do. Absolutely. To accept the reality that you're living in a very dangerous neighborhood, hard thing to do. Right. But the more you fight against accepting the reality of your circumstances, the more you're emotionally fueling it. And making it harder to get out. Yeah. Right? 'Cause it's, you know, "I'm about to get evicted. Okay, yes, that, that is true." Yeah. Then all of a sudden we have space to say, "What can I do about that?" Yeah. Like, how can I prevent this? Yeah. Instead of just- Like, what can I do? Yeah. Like, we, we're ... Situations, like, of course, there's certain things are actual major tragedies. Right. But the majority of our problems are a lot worse because we keep fueling it.
It Takes a Village: Asking for Help and Real Connection
And- And we also have trouble asking for help. Yeah. It's- That's a big part, right? Yeah, and a lot of- I think that's the world that we live in now is, you know, there's a reason why the saying "it takes a village"- Yes ... is there, is none of us are supposed to do everything alone. Yeah. I think that we've definitely as a society have made it the norm that we're supposed to figure everything out by ourselves, and we're not. It takes a village, and it takes interpersonal connection to get through something. We don't always get traumatized by what happens to us. Whether or not someone was there for us- Yeah ... has an impact on how much we're affected by that thing.
Yeah, and a huge issue that you, you know, may have knowingly or, or unknowingly brought up is there's a lack of a village in the world. Mm-hmm. There's a lack of genuine connection. Mm-hmm. There's a lack of- Getting into the messy parts. Yep. You know, everybody shows you the highlight reel. Uh, yeah. Everybody shows you, like, "Hey, you know, look at me and my kids on Facebook. You know, we go to church every Sunday, and we have a- Everyone aspires for a nice, normal family, right? ... you know, we have a, we have a Toyota Civic and a minivan. Yep. And our house has five bedrooms, and look at us in our picture." Yep. But nobody opens up about... And I'm not saying open up publicly, I'm just saying to their friends and family. Right.
Like you said you could see in somebody- Yeah ... like, mm, I'm not buying it. Like, like I can, I can see- Yeah ... that even if you don't know- I can tell you're not buying ... I know. Yes. And I have to deliberately stop myself from saying it to people. Yeah, you have to wait for them to be ready. Yeah, 'cause- That's a big part of it ... you know, a lot of people Aren't ready, and- If they're not ready, they'll push back. Yeah. They'll push back and just- And- ... like I always use my kids as like analogies of like, you know, when they're fighting me, I go, "That's okay. I'll wait."
Becoming Friends With Yourself
Yeah, it's unfortunate because when people don't have that connection, it's really hard for them to open up to anyone, especially in a formative, like, childhood years- Mm-hmm ... where they- Wow ... never had the freedom, or for me, it was not having, like, friends or, like, a good social circle. Yeah. So I had to, again, going back to that inner world of, like- Yeah ... you learn to become friends with yourself. Yeah. You know, you learn to- You found a way to get connection through your inner world. Yes. Like, you learn to connect to yourself in some kind of higher power, whatever someone believes in. Right.
Because- And now look, you're connected- Yeah ... to, like, how many people, like, outside because you kind of steered into the skid. Yeah. Right? And it's- And it wound up getting you relationships and connection outside of. Yes. Even now to the point where sometimes I'll be walking down the street around Philadelphia and people have, like, came up to me and cried because they- Oh ... saw a video I made, or they're- Wow ... like, "I was at one of your speeches," and, like, "I heard you say this thing," and there was this one girl, she sent me, she sent me, like, this long, like, Instagram message about how my video helped her to talk to her family again, and- Oh, wow ... she got out of a toxic relationship, and I'm like, "Wow." Yeah. "I never thought it would get like this." But that was your vision, right? To help. Yes. And now you're living it.
Getting Honest With Yourself in the Mirror
And it's, it's funny because, you know, it's so cliche that people say, like, when you have a strong enough why, you'll figure out the how, but it's, it's the truth. Mm-hmm. Like, it's the truth. Yeah. When I was- Where there's a will, there's a way. Yeah. Right? And when you're willing to do what it takes- Mm-hmm ... sometimes that means getting really honest with yourself. Yeah.
Like, when I was 15, I'm just standing in my bathroom looking at myself in the mirror, and I'm like, "My hair is a mess. My skin is a mess." Mm-hmm. "My teeth are getting yellow," and I'm just like, "This is me." Yeah. "This is how, this is how I'm living." Yeah. Why? And I just started breaking down because I was realizing that, yes, all of these really traumatic things happened to me, and none of that was my fault, but I have to be the one to- Do the work. Right. And with the help of my therapist and my family and, mind you, 15-year-old Lav was really hard to be around- Mm ... because I- He's in a lot of pain. Yeah. But I didn't know how to properly vocalize that. Right. You don't know what you don't know, what you're not taught. Yeah. Yeah.
The Stray Cat Analogy: Stability, Consistency, and Not Taking It Personally
It's like a, a stray cat- Yeah ... where, you know, the stray cat hisses at you, and it claws at you when you try to feed it. Mm-hmm. And it wants you to feed it. Right. But it still believes that because of so many people who hurt me in the past- Right. Trust anybody ... I'm not going to give you the chance to hurt me. Yep. So I'm gonna act big, bad, and scary- Such a good analogy, yeah ... and, and push you away because I don't want to give you the opportunity to hurt me. Right.
And what eventually helps that cat is the other person not getting scared. Yeah. Like, understanding that that, that cat is just in pain, and stay- like, the stability- Yeah ... and consistency. Sometimes that's, a, a lot of times that's what people need- Yeah ... because you just need someone to say that- I'm not going anywhere ... I understand. Right. I, I understand why you act this way. Right. I'm not here to judge you. I'm just here to- Yeah ... like, "Hey, if, if you're hungry, I mean, here's, here's some food." Right. Like, take it if you want it, but- Yeah. Don't scratch me. I'm here. I m- I might step back, but I'm still here. Yeah. Yeah.
You know, I came up with that analogy- Such a good one ... from when I was, like, 17. I was dating this girl who was just very emotionally avoidant. Mm. And I started thinking like, "Huh, why?" Right. And I realized, oh, well, it's because of the relationship patterns she's had in the past, and then the relationship she had between her and her dad, which set the foundation for that. Right. And all of these things you're not looking to try and, like, dissect. Right. It's not that. You're just curious. And you're n- what I'm hearing is you're not personalizing it. Yeah. Right? It, it- 'Cause that's so much of other people's pain. We al- we tend to personalize it. "Oh, so and so did this. They can't do this to me," this and that. Yeah. Reality is, is it's not about you. Yes.
Staying Regulated in the Face of Someone Else's Dysregulation
Somebody has to be the first one in any dynamic to, like, say, like, yes, w- we all talk about boundaries, but I think we have gotten a little too nuts with that word. Yeah. Because that there's boundaries, and then there's, you know, loving kindness of like, okay- Why, like you said, what's go- n- I'm not gonna personalize it. What's going on with that other person? If I- Yeah ... take myself out of it, maybe they just have not had anyone listen- Yes. Like when someone- ... and ask them what's wrong.
Yeah, like when someone cuts you off in traffic, it has nothing to do with you. Right. When a stranger yells at you, it has nothing to do with you. Right. It is somehow, some way, they were hurt- Right ... and they're taking it out on you- Right ... simply because you were the nearest person. Right. It's just collateral damage. It has nothing- Right ... to do with you. It's not personal.
And I wanna say, like, if it's an explanation, not an excuse, 'cause behavior is behavior, but if someone's in survival mode, one person can change the trajectory, right? By not react. Like, if we match reactivity with reactivity, it's gonna keep spiraling. Now- Yeah ... their reactivity has attacked us, and now it goes and spreads to everyone we interact with, versus can I stay regulated in the face of someone else's dysregulation? Yeah. They're- And then be the one, now they're more regulated, 'cause now there's a co-regulation, and now that's how we heal.
Comfortable Discomfort: Why Growth Feels So Hard
Yeah, and in the, in the same way, there comes a point where as we all heal, we want to do the best we can to, you know, help the people around us. Right. 'Cause we realize how good it feels to feel regulated. Right. But a lot of people are not ready for that. Right. It's like- It's, it's we fear what we don't know. Yeah. Yeah. You know? It's sort of like when you're asleep, and then you first wake up, and someone hits you with a flashlight. Yeah. It's like, "Ah, I'm blind." Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But, you know, you get comf- you get, like, comfortable in the dark space because you've been here for so long. Yeah. You're familiar with it. It's familiar.
You know- For sure ... you know down to the minute, "I'm going to wake up tomorrow. I'm going to check the news. I'm gonna feel really upset because I don't have a lot of money. And then after that, I'm going to call my friend, and we're gonna, like, complain- Mm ... we're gonna gossip, and we're gonna do this, and we're gonna do that." The spiral, yep. "Then I'm gonna come home, and I'm going to binge-watch five hours of Netflix, and I'm gonna eat a pint of ice cream because I'm afraid that, you know, I'm never gonna find a good man or a good woman. And then I'm gonna go to sleep. I'm gonna wake up. I'm gonna do it tomorrow." You know exactly what you're gonna do. Right. You know? Right. It's like comf- like, it's comfortable uncomfort. Yep.
But when you say, "Wait"- Because growth is uncomfortable. Yeah. And it's not that ... Growth is uncomfortable, but it's- It's a little hard to put into words because- It's just short-term discomfort for long-term everything- Yeah ... you've ever wanted. It's like, hey, if you want to wake up happy- Yeah ... and you want to get the relationship you want, and you wanna start that business, you wanna do whatever it is that you want, you can get it, but you're gonna have to pay a price. Yeah. And sometimes- Nobody gets something for nothing. Yeah.
The Price of Change: Giving Up Feeling Bad and Taking Accountability
And sometimes the price is give up feeling bad- Mm-hmm ... in order to feel good. Mm. And on the surface, that's a really simple deal. Anyone would take that. Yeah. But giving up the bad can include, and using my own life, it included certain family members. It included- Mm ... breaking up with relationships, like people that I loved, but I knew that the love was based in like toxic cycles- Yeah ... and not actually forward movement. Right. It meant ending friendships. It meant, you know, changing my habits. It meant changing the music I listen to, the foods I eat, the places I go. Took a lot of change. Yeah.
It took everything. It took some very big financial decisions. It took getting very open and honest. It took facing the parts of myself- Mm ... that I didn't want to admit were there. Yeah. I didn't want to admit that, "Lawrence, you're the common denominator." Mm. Like y- yes, people do things. But I'm picking these people. That is accountability. Yeah. Like- Accountability is huge ... you know? Right?
It's something I'm so passionate about because it's, yes, there's a lot of, like, terrible things in this world, but what part... W- we're all playing some part in it. Yeah. Right? Like, there's... Sometimes it's something as, like, I don't want... That's not meant to say that, like, terrible things that happen to somebody, it's not their fault, but it's w- what comes next? Yeah. What can we do next? Like, what's, what's the pattern I'm playing? Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And that's so important. It's so important. I'm so grateful for you sharing all of this. Like, I think it's so inspirational and can help so many people.
Where to Find Lawrence C. Harris
It- It sure will. Yeah. Can you tell, um, everyone listening, like, a little bit more about, like, where they can find you, where they can find your books, where they can hear your speeches? Very easily. Yeah. You know, if you just search lawrencecharris.com, that is my website, is just my name. I have my books there. You want to contact me with, like, a speaking engagement or a podcast guest, lawrence@lawrencecharris.com. There you go. I speak at high schools, youth organizations, mental health groups. Awesome. Contact me. Awesome. Just send me an email. I respond very quickly most of the time. Yeah. My social media platforms and YouTube, where all my speeches and things are, Lawrence C Empowers. Everything is my name. I love it. And we'll include it in the show notes, too.
Closing the Episode
Um, Lawrence, thank you so much for being here. I'm so grateful for you just sharing your story and sharing your, your energy- Thank you ... with everyone listening. Thank you so much. Nope. Stay blessed, and, you know, make good decisions with your life. Yeah. And if you don't, ask for help, right? Yeah. Yeah. So get asked. Yeah. Thank you everyone for listening to another episode of The Truth About Healing podcast. I'm your host, Dana Carretta-Stein, here to remind you that we repeat but we don't repair. See you on the next one.
Thank you for listening to another episode of The Truth About Healing podcast. If you know someone who's still stuck, share this episode with them, 'cause as you know, the truth can set them free. And if you're ready to get started to see what you need to repair, contact us at peacefullivingmentalhealthcounseling.com and we will get you started. Until next time, I'm Dana Carretta-Stein reminding you, we repeat what we don't repair.
Subscribe to The Truth About Healing Podcast
The Truth About Healing is about looking beyond the surface and understanding what's really driving our patterns, emotions, relationships, and behaviors.
Through honest conversations, trauma-informed insights, and nervous system education, Dana challenges common beliefs about healing and offers a more compassionate way to understand ourselves.
Because healing isn't about becoming someone new. It's about understanding what shaped you, repairing what still impacts you, and creating space for something different.
Subscribe to The Truth About Healing Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or YouTube.
We repeat what we don't repair.
Podcast Disclaimer
This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice. Listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need support, contact a licensed professional or your local emergency services.
Crisis Support: If you're in crisis, call or text 988 in the U.S. or contact your local emergency number.
Transcript lightly edited for readability while preserving the meaning and conversational tone of the original recording
Comments