Episode 19: You Can't Rush Healing with Hannah Guy
You Can't Rush Healing: Why Going Slower Can Help You Go Further
Welcome to Episode 19 of The Truth About Healing Podcast.
You Can't Rush Healing, even when every part of you wants to get to the finish line already.
You finally decide you're ready to work on your trauma, so naturally you want to work on the trauma.
You want the breakthrough.
The big EMDR session.
The moment where everything clicks and suddenly you're healed.
Except that's usually not how trauma recovery works.
In this episode, Dana sits down with Hannah Guy, LCSW, an EMDR-certified trauma therapist, founder of Revive Therapy Services, and host of the Trauma, Tea, and Tangents podcast.
And Hannah doesn't sugarcoat it:
"Healing is really fucking slow."
Not exactly the inspirational quote you'll find written over a sunset on Instagram.
But it might be one of the more reassuring things you can hear when you're wondering why you're not "further along" yet.
Because slow doesn't necessarily mean stuck.
Sometimes, slow means your nervous system is finally being given the time and preparation it didn't have when the trauma happened.
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Episode Highlights
In this episode, Dana and Hannah talk about:
Why complex trauma can create deeply held beliefs like "I'm not enough," "I'm unlovable," or "I'm a bad person"
Hannah's experience receiving EMDR therapy herself
Why intellectually understanding something isn't always enough to change what feels true
The difference between insight and what your nervous system has actually learned
Why trauma recovery can take much longer than people expect
The temptation to rush toward trauma processing
Why EMDR Phase 2 preparation and resourcing matter
Building your window of tolerance before deeper trauma work
Why going slowly can feel uncomfortable for people accustomed to high levels of activation
Family patterns, emotional invalidation, and generational survival strategies
How compassion for your parents can exist alongside grief about what you needed and didn't receive
Accountability without turning someone into the villain
Hannah's work with ketamine-assisted psychotherapy
Why uncertainty can be difficult to tolerate
Hannah's personal mantra: "I don't have to know."
Why doing less can sometimes create more room for growth
Memorable Quote
"Healing is really fucking slow." - Hannah Guy, LCSW
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Further Learning & Resources
Discover journals, workbooks, consultation resources, and recommended tools designed to support both personal healing and professional growth.
EMDR Therapy Progress Journal
The EMDR Therapy Progress Journal helps clients track healing progress, identify
patterns, document insights, and stay connected to their therapeutic journey between sessions.
Perfect for:
EMDR clients
Trauma recovery work
Reflection between sessions
Tracking healing milestones
EMDR Coach Treatment Planning Workbook
Designed specifically for EMDR therapists, this workbook helps simplify case
conceptualization, target sequencing, and treatment planning.
Ideal for:
EMDR-trained clinicians
EMDR consultation groups
Organizing complex cases
Strengthening treatment planning skills
Meet Hannah Guy, LCSW
Hannah Guy, LCSW, is an EMDR-certified trauma therapist, founder of Revive Therapy Services, and host of the Trauma, Tea, and Tangents podcast.
Her clinical work focuses on trauma recovery, attachment, eating disorders, and ketamine-assisted psychotherapy, with a particular interest in complex and developmental trauma.
Hannah also brings personal experience to her understanding of EMDR. During the episode, she discusses what it was like to experience EMDR from the client's side and how that experience informs the way she thinks about trauma recovery.
Revive Therapy Services is primarily based in Philadelphia and provides online services in Colorado and Pennsylvania. Hannah also offers worksheets through the Revive Therapy Services website for people who want to begin building capacity and preparing for deeper therapeutic work.
Website: Revive Therapy Services
Instagram: @revivetherapyservices
Podcast: Trauma, Tea, and Tangents
Meet Our Host Dana Carretta-Stein, LMHC
Dana Carretta-Stein is an LMHC, EMDRIA Approved Consultant, founder of The EMDR Coach, and founder of Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling (PLMHC).
Her work focuses on trauma-informed therapy, nervous system healing, EMDR therapy, attachment patterns, and helping people understand the deeper roots behind emotional and behavioral patterns.
Dana blends neuroscience, trauma-informed education, and direct honesty in a way that helps listeners feel both validated and challenged to think differently about healing.
Her core belief: Symptoms make sense when you understand the nervous system underneath them.
Trauma-Informed Therapy Through PLMHC
Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling provides trauma-informed therapy for children, teens, and adults.
Services include support for:
Overthinking
Burnout
Trauma
Emotional overwhelm
Nervous system dysregulation
PLMHC offers in-person therapy in Scarsdale and virtual therapy throughout New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, and Florida.
If you’ve been searching for trauma-informed therapy in Westchester or EMDR therapy in Scarsdale, support is available.
Full Episode Transcript
Episode 19: You Can't Rush Healing with Hannah Guy
Dana:
Welcome to another episode of The Truth About Healing, the podcast that's here to challenge everything you think you knew about therapy.
I'm Dana Carretta-Stein, EMDR and neuro-informed therapist, and I'm on a mission to help 10 million people change their patterns, relationships, and future generations by teaching them how to gain control of their nervous system.
Let's go with it.
Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of The Truth About Healing Podcast. I'm your host, Dana Carretta-Stein, and I'm here at Cayivisions Studio with my boy Claudio.
Today we have a very special guest, my friend Hannah.
Hannah Guy, LCSW, is an EMDR-certified trauma therapist. She's out in Denver, Colorado, and she's the founder of Revive Therapy Services and host of the Trauma, Tea, and Tangents podcast.
A recognized expert in trauma recovery, attachment, eating disorders, and ketamine-assisted psychotherapy, Hannah combines clinical expertise with practical, evidence-based strategies that challenge common mental health myths and help people understand their healing process.
She is passionate about making trauma education accessible while encouraging honest conversations about healing, relationships, and nervous system health.
This is why I adore chatting with her, because we have so much in common.
Hannah, welcome to The Truth About Healing Podcast. I'm so happy to have you here.
Hannah:
I am so happy to be here. Thanks for having me on.
Dana:
Tell us a little bit about you and your background, what you do, what you work with, and how you got here.
Complex Trauma and the Beliefs We Carry
Hannah:
Kind of as you said, I specialize in trauma, and I'm particularly drawn to working with people with more complex trauma.
I like to make my work a little bit more challenging.
Dana:
Let's do the early childhood, developmental, complex trauma.
Let's steer into the skid. Do the tough stuff.
Hannah:
Right.
EMDR is something I became certified in a couple years ago, three or four years ago maybe.
It's something that I've seen really help clients with complex PTSD get to a place where they are no longer carrying those negative core beliefs that seem to permeate their entire being.
I think for people with complex PTSD, a lot of it is that negative core belief of:
"I'm a bad person."
"I'm not enough."
"I'm unlovable."
Dana:
Yeah. It's their truth.
Hannah:
Right.
Even intellectually, they aren't able to comprehend that that's not true.
Dana:
It's the story they tell themselves based on what's going on inside their nervous system.
Hannah:
Right. They haven't had an experience that proves otherwise, for a lot of them.
I really enjoy working with people who are in that headspace because I myself have a history of complex trauma.
I've been there where it's like, "No, this is just reality for me."
It wasn't until I was on the receiving end of EMDR that I got to reap the benefits.
Dana:
I love that. When the healer has been healed, right?
Can you share a little bit about your experience with EMDR personally and what it felt like?
I think that's a big struggle that a lot of people have. They want to know, "But what do I expect? What does it actually feel like?"
What Does EMDR Feel Like as a Client?
Hannah:
Sure.
Am I allowed to swear on this podcast?
Dana:
Hello, have we met?
Every other word out of my mouth is an F-bomb, so let it fly.
Hannah:
I know.
It's a big mind fuck.
There really aren't words to describe in full accuracy what it feels like because I've done it multiple times with multiple different therapists, and it feels different.
Dana:
Interesting.
I would love to hear more about that, the comparison from one therapist to another.
Hannah:
There are certain therapists where I resonate more with them. There's more rapport and more trust.
I'm not saying I didn't trust the other therapists. It just didn't click as much.
Dana:
And that matters.
Hannah:
It does matter.
I think the difference really was their interweaves.
Dana:
For anyone listening, if processing gets stuck or starts looping, an interweave is something the therapist might introduce to help facilitate the natural adaptive processing of the brain.
Hannah:
Exactly.
The most impactful EMDR I've done was when I had also done a low dose of psychedelics.
Dana:
So cool.
Let's rewind for a second.
What made you curious about EMDR? What were you struggling with where you were like, "I'm going to try this?"
Hannah:
Girl, I don't even remember which issue.
Dana:
Well, it's complex trauma. There are so many.
Hannah:
I know. It becomes, "Okay, which one do I want to start with?"
What I concretely remember is a period after COVID.
I have trauma around animals and pet death. There was probably a two or three-month period where there were three big pet-related things compiling, and my nervous system was not happy.
Dana:
It's grief.
Hannah:
It's grief, yeah.
I had witnessed a friend's dog get hit by a car. That image was in my head, and I had to drive by that street every day because it was a block away from my house.
Dana:
What symptoms did you experience?
How did you know, "Okay, this isn't something I can think my way out of"?
What was your everyday experience like?
Hannah:
A lot of holding my breath and bracing.
I'm even feeling it right now. I'm getting little goosebumps.
There were a lot of intrusive thoughts of that image.
I wouldn't say it was a full flashback, but it was an image I couldn't necessarily get out of my head.
Dana:
It pops up when you don't want it to.
Hannah:
Yeah, and it's not a fun image.
Dana:
Not at all.
When the Brain Creates Its Own Imagery
Hannah:
So I did EMDR.
What was really cool, and what I love about EMDR, is that your brain gets creative and comes up with stuff where you're like, "How the fuck did I come up with that? Where did that come from?"
I'm a creative person, so I kind of like doing EMDR and seeing what comes up because often it's very creative.
With EMDR, we were able to get to the outcome of:
"Oh, this is over now."
That event is over. It was really hard and scary, and that dog isn't suffering anymore.
It's not currently happening.
The creative part was that the worst image we targeted was the dog in the street.
And I'm sorry if this is traumatic for other people.
Dana:
Trigger warning. If anybody needs to turn this down for a second.
Hannah:
During EMDR, I was tapping. That's the bilateral stimulation that works best for me.
I'm tapping and having these images, and all of a sudden I have this image of a chalk artist on the street.
The chalk artist drew a picture of this dog, in detail.
Then someone comes with a hose and washes it away.
For me, it really clicked.
"Oh. See? It's over. It's clean. Gone."
Dana:
Your brain came up with imagery to demonstrate that it was over.
Hannah:
Right.
Never in my life would I have come up with that one.
Dana:
It's similar to dreaming.
When we dream, our brains come up with stories and images that might not have anything to do with factual stuff, but they're creating a visual story to match what the state of our nervous system is doing as it tries to work something out.
Hannah:
Exactly.
That's one of the things I love about EMDR. It accesses different parts of the brain and different parts of yourself that are already within you and can help you heal.
I already had everything within me that I needed to heal from that. I just needed some facilitation.
Dana:
Some space.
The process itself and the bilateral stimulation can help activate the memory network and get things moving.
Then all of a sudden you're like, "Oh, this is super interesting."
And you get to observe.
Hannah:
Yes.
I know that was a tangent.
Dana:
It works with your podcast. Trauma, Tea, and Tangents.
Hannah:
I like to tangent, but I always come back.
EMDR Doesn't Make Sad Things Happy
Dana:
When those images started changing and demonstrating that it was over, what physical state did you notice inside your body?
Hannah:
I'm even noticing it right now.
I'm able to take a deeper breath. I'm not bracing as much.
There is a feeling of sadness because that event is sad.
Dana:
And that's appropriate.
EMDR doesn't get rid of appropriate emotions.
Hannah:
Correct.
I think that's a misconception about it, that you're going to feel good about what happened.
Dana:
You're not supposed to feel good about something like that.
Especially with childhood trauma, you're not going to be like, "Yippee, my mom wasn't emotionally available for me. I feel great about that now."
It doesn't make sense.
Hannah:
Not at all.
I'm sad.
But it's a sadness that isn't overbearing and isn't all-consuming.
It's a sadness I can sit with and say, "That was a really sad time."
Dana:
It gives you the ability to feel safe feeling your feelings.
Hannah:
Yes.
Dana:
Those emotions become more regulated so you can embrace them.
We get stuck when we resist.
When we have a really intense emotion and it feels bigger than what we can process, that's where it can get jammed in our nervous system.
When we have enough space and regulation, we can notice the feeling and let it move through instead of getting stuck on it.
When Protective Parts Block the Work
Hannah:
One hundred percent.
That resistance piece goes into why I became trained in ketamine.
I was hitting a wall in therapy where I wanted to work with some early childhood memories, and I would get so frustrated.
Dana:
What caused the frustration? What did you notice?
Hannah:
My inner teenager would come out and be like, "Fuck this."
Dana:
So that anger part. That rebellious teen saying, "Yeah, no, we're not going there."
Hannah:
Or it was the highly intellectual part saying:
"You'd think you're over this by now."
"Why aren't you over this?"
"This is stupid."
Dana:
And what function do those parts serve?
Hannah:
They're protecting a lot of pain.
It can be difficult being a therapist and also doing your own work because you intellectualize.
Dana:
Oh my God, it's so hard.
We want to intellectualize everything.
Hannah:
I would go to my therapist and say, "This is what we're doing today."
Dana:
You're like, "I know exactly what this is and this is where we need to go."
It's funny. I go to mine and say, "Tell me what I don't see. I have a theory, but I need to get out of the professional seat. Tell me what I don't see."
Hannah:
It's so freaking frustrating.
These protective parts are core to who I am as a person, too.
When it comes to parts work and we say there are no bad parts, these parts really aren't bad.
Dana:
They're all functioning. They serve a function.
Hannah:
They're really helpful. They helped you survive.
What Happens When the Threat Comes Down?
Dana:
So where does ketamine come in?
How did that help with the stuckness?
The intellectualizer and rebellious teenager were blocking access to unresolved stuff.
Hannah:
For me personally, this was specifically with psilocybin. It was before I experienced ketamine and became interested in doing psychedelic therapy.
I'm in Colorado, where psilocybin is decriminalized.
With that experience, things that felt like too much for me to know what to do with didn't feel as scary anymore.
It reduced the threat around them.
Then it was like, "Oh, that's just really sad."
Dana:
It lets the appropriate emotion shine through.
Hannah:
Yes.
The thing you thought was the boogeyman is suddenly not the boogeyman.
Learning How to Feel Sad
Dana:
It's interesting.
Doing this work for a while and then becoming a mom, I've seen how much avoidance there can be around sadness and grief.
Even my son and I had a moment a few weeks ago where he said something so poetic:
"Mom, I just don't really know how to feel sad."
And I thought, "Oh."
I probably interject my own shit. I feel uncomfortable with sadness, so I try to keep you comfortable so you don't have to feel sad.
That impacts his ability to have enough exposure to sadness to learn how to tolerate it.
Hannah:
One hundred percent.
For me growing up with my complex trauma, it wasn't horrific physical abuse or sexual abuse.
My parents didn't have the capacity to meet all of my emotional needs.
There was a threshold.
I would often go over that threshold, and when I did, they would shut down, disconnect, or become viscerally uncomfortable.
I learned:
"If I go above this threshold, these emotions aren't safe."
"I don't get my needs met."
"I can't connect with people."
"People are going to leave me."
Dana:
That's so well said.
I love that you used the word capacity because, as parents, we have our own capacity for affect and discomfort.
The goal is to lean into our children and support them with their discomfort.
But when we hit our own threshold of how much we can tolerate, what happens next?
With my son, because he's neurodivergent, I have very transparent conversations.
I'll say:
"Your emotions aren't too much. Mommy just needs a break because I want to be able to be there for you. There's nothing wrong with the feeling. I might just be overwhelmed, so I'm going to take a second, and I can come back and sit with you with that feeling."
We all have our own bandwidth.
Some days that bandwidth can tolerate more than others.
Your Parents Can Have Done Their Best and You Can Still Grieve
Hannah:
I like using that word because it isn't shifting blame onto anyone.
My grandparents probably didn't have a lot of emotional capacity for my parents.
If my parents never received what they needed, and they were only taught that emotions could be present up until a certain point, why would they have the capacity to deal with all of my emotions?
Dana:
We've come a long way in a very short period of time in terms of being able to talk about feelings.
Two generations ago, you're talking about the Great Depression, wars, World War II.
There was so much happening externally and environmentally that survival mode was real.
There wasn't space for feelings.
You had to go into go mode.
Hannah:
It was the whole "pull yourself up by your bootstraps."
You're sad?
Okay, but we have shit to do.
There's no time to be sad. We have to make sure we get food on the table.
Even my parents were born in the '60s. The vibe I get was more Mad Men-y, where it was about social status and showing society you have your shit together.
That was a version of survival.
You needed to fit in socially or else you were the outcast.
Dana:
Rejection.
We're wired for connection, so a perceived sense of rejection can trigger a survival response.
Hannah:
I don't fault my parents for not knowing how to do that.
But there definitely is grief.
You can say:
"I know my parents did the best they could."
And grieve that it might not have been enough for you.
Neither one has to be right or wrong.
It's the reality of the situation.
You can grieve experiences you wish you'd gotten and didn't.
It doesn't make my parents bad people.
I love my parents. I think they're fantastic people.
I was visiting them this past weekend, and one of the beautiful things was my mom acknowledging her own stuff.
She's done her own work, and she said:
"You know what, Hannah? I didn't hold the space you needed for your emotions. I would shut you down. I would say, 'Go to your room. This is too much.'"
Even hearing her say that was a healing moment for me.
Dana:
Absolutely.
It's an acknowledgment of your experience. Empathy.
It's amazing when we can have space for those conversations.
They might not be comfortable, but they can be really healing.
My mom said something to me not that long ago.
I was a product of my grandmother and the wooden spoon. I got hit a lot as a kid.
My mom said:
"I'm sorry. I can see how that was probably really scary for you, and I'm sorry."
And I was like, "Whoa. Oh my God."
It goes into accountability.
Accountability Can Be Healing
Hannah:
We don't talk about accountability enough.
I think people get defensive and say, "Well, I did my best."
Or, "You didn't have it as bad as I did."
It's not a comparison.
We're not trying to see who wins the most traumatic childhood award.
I don't think people have been taught how to take accountability because it feels threatening.
Dana:
Absolutely. It can feel unsafe to say, "Yeah, I fucked up."
Hannah:
For me, it seems like the simplest thing to do.
Own it.
I fuck up. You probably fuck up.
Say:
"Hey, I shouldn't have reacted that way."
Or:
"I didn't realize that when I said it that way, it hurt your feelings. That wasn't my intention, but it doesn't matter if that was my intention or not. It was still hurtful."
Dana:
I love when those things happen in the therapy room, too.
I tell clients in the beginning that there will probably come a time when I piss you off, misspeak, or say something that doesn't land well because I'm not perfect either.
I encourage them to tell me.
Then I can take ownership of it.
That in itself can be such a corrective emotional experience.
Hannah:
I always encourage clients that if something I say lands wrong or hurts their feelings, please bring it up.
Every time they do, I get really happy.
Dana:
Not because you like being called out on your shit.
Hannah:
No. I'm proud of them for taking up space and speaking up.
It can be a beautiful corrective experience because you get to experience:
"Oh. This is how someone is supposed to respond when I say, 'Hey, you hurt my feelings.'"
Dana:
There's no gaslighting.
Hannah:
Right.
For many people, that isn't in their frame of reference.
That's often part of why they wind up in therapy in the first place.
You practice it in therapy and then can generalize the skill into other relationships.
Maybe you bring up to a friend that you weren't invited somewhere and it made you feel left out.
Then you find out they thought they sent the invite and accidentally left your email off.
It leaves room for conversation.
When the Therapist Becomes Part of the Healing Experience
Hannah:
I'm the queen of calling things out with my own therapist.
I've only had one male therapist in my life.
I thought, "Why not? Give it a whirl."
One of our first sessions, his name is Tim, and I said:
"Tim, I don't like the fact that you're a white man."
Dana:
Amazing.
What was his response?
Hannah:
He responded really well.
He basically said:
"That actually makes a lot of sense why you would feel that way. What do you need to know about me, or from me, to feel even a tiny bit more understood or safe here?"
It wasn't a one-and-done conversation.
I would bring it up consistently.
"I'm having a hard time because you're a man, and men have hurt me."
Dana:
There's that association.
The fact that he's a man can be a trigger.
Having a different experience with something that's close to a trigger can be powerful.
Hannah:
With my current therapist, I was talking about relationship issues, and she made a facial expression that I clocked immediately.
I grew up very religious, so one of my trauma responses is needing external approval that my relationships are okay and that other people agree with them.
She made this face, and I said:
"I don't like that you made that. That made me feel a certain type of way."
We talked about it.
She responded really well.
She said:
"I really appreciate you bringing that up. That's actually something I'm working on in supervision, and this is my own shit."
Dana:
Oh my God, I love that.
That shows her realness.
Hannah:
Yes.
Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy and Stuck Processing
Dana:
Let's come back to the ketamine of it all because that was another lovely tangent.
Hannah:
Love the tangents.
There's always a good story in the tangent.
I've been doing ketamine with clients as a newer part of my practice, and it's been really cool to witness people's experiences.
It hasn't all been rainbows and butterflies. There's a wide range of experiences.
For me, a client who might be considered for ketamine-assisted work is someone where we're continually hitting blocks.
Their processing is stuck or looping. They're not getting to that deeper layer because protective parts keep popping up.
There are different ways we use ketamine in my practice.
One is a fuller dosing session.
There's a lot of preparation beforehand.
Why are we doing this?
What's the intention?
What are we working toward?
Dana:
Intention setting is big.
Hannah:
Very important.
I had a client who was chronically anxious.
She said:
"I don't know what it's like to not be anxious. I just want to feel joy for once in my fucking life."
During a ketamine session, she said:
"I finally get it. I have the experience now of what it feels like to not be anxious and to actually feel happy."
For people listening, maybe that's hard to understand.
Try to empathize with never feeling complete peace in your life.
When we think about EMDR, we're connecting to adaptive information.
If someone has never had an experience of feeling at peace, part of the therapeutic work may involve helping them develop and access experiences they can connect with.
"Can I Just Have a Break?"
Dana:
It's a felt sense.
Hannah:
Exactly.
It is such a privilege as a provider to witness someone's experience with them.
And, to be honest, I didn't do shit.
Dana:
That's my favorite.
Clients finish EMDR and say, "Oh my God, you're such a magician. Thank you."
And I'm like:
"I didn't do anything. That's your nervous system doing the work. I'm just the conductor keeping the train on the track."
Hannah:
Everyone's experience is different.
Sometimes I think it's going to go one way and then it goes completely differently.
People also think intentions with psychedelic-assisted work have to be these huge things like:
"I want to understand why my mom treated me this way."
Or:
"I don't want to feel like I'm a piece of shit anymore."
Those are heavy hitters.
But an intention can also be:
"Can I just have a break, please?"
"Can I just be present?"
"Can I know what it's like to experience joy?"
I had another client who, with her trauma, seemed to constantly live in a state of dissociation.
She came to me saying:
"I want to feel emotions. I don't know what happy feels like. I haven't felt that way in forever."
During the ketamine work, she got to experience joy.
When we followed up, she said:
"I was microwaving my coffee and I started dancing. I don't remember the last time I did that."
Dana:
There's a freeness. Movement.
Hannah:
It also opened the door for her to understand that if she wasn't allowing herself to feel the hard emotions, she was also disconnected from some of the good emotions.
Dana:
We need that variance.
If we think about Sandra Paulsen's early trauma work, we can think about life-preserving emotions and life-affirming emotions.
Which ones help us survive, and which ones help us thrive?
Both have a place.
Hannah:
It's not all rainbows and butterflies.
Sometimes it opens your eyes to the fact that you also need to create space and capacity to feel harder emotions.
Dana:
That window of tolerance is huge.
You Can't Rush Healing
Dana:
With the work you're doing now with ketamine and EMDR, is there anything you're noticing that you're afraid to say out loud?
Something where you're like, "I wish everybody knew this."
Or maybe you've already said it out loud, but you want it heard more.
Hannah:
I've already said everything out loud.
Dana:
You don't strike me as the type who's holding much in.
Hannah:
One of the big things is:
Healing is really fucking slow.
You see these movies where people have a silver lining, an aha moment, and everything is okay.
Now all their relationships are great.
In reality, healing can be painstakingly slow.
That's not romantic. It's not this fun thing to do.
But it's important for people who genuinely want to heal to understand that it's probably not what they think it's going to be.
It's also not meant to be throwing yourself off a 60-foot cliff and traumatizing yourself all the time.
That's not healing.
I think people think that's what healing is, too.
Dana:
If someone's nervous system is primed for significant distress, intensity can feel familiar.
They might think healing is supposed to feel like that when healing may actually require something very different.
What I'm hearing is that you want people to understand how much patience is needed in the process.
Hannah:
Yes.
Healing is slower than you think.
Why Phase 2 of EMDR Matters
Hannah:
Things like EMDR and psychedelic-assisted therapy may move certain aspects of treatment differently than some top-down approaches.
Dana:
And with EMDR, processing can sometimes move more quickly, but you also have to have the capacity to reprocess.
That's where Phase 2 of EMDR comes in.
Phase 2 is about building that capacity.
Hannah:
That's what I mean when I say it's slower than you think.
A lot of people don't naturally have the capacity to reprocess their trauma immediately.
There's a reason the phases are set up the way they are.
Dana:
Phase 2, resourcing, preparation, all of that.
It's nervous system work.
It's widening the window of tolerance.
Think about running a marathon.
You don't show up the day of the marathon, start running, and hope for the best.
You train.
The stabilization and resourcing part of EMDR is that training.
You're preparing for the part where you move into distressing memories so you have the capacity and endurance for the process.
Hannah:
I'm guilty of this as a client.
I'll show up and we'll do what I might call the more mundane interventions, and I'm like:
"What's the point?"
"I want to see the outcome."
"I want to cross the finish line."
Just because it feels mundane and slow and you're asking, "What is the fucking point of this?" doesn't mean nothing is happening.
Dana:
Sometimes that's the inability to tolerate slow.
Hannah:
That's actually it.
The inability to go slowly and respect the pace your body needs you to go at.
Dana:
Your mind might be saying:
"No, let's go, go, go, go, go."
Your body might tell you something different.
Anytime you try to hit the ground running without proper stabilization, those protective parts can pop up and block the process anyway.
Hannah:
We have to slow down to speed up.
And I'm the queen of that as a client.
Dana:
I think we all have a little impatience in us.
Combining Low-Dose Ketamine and EMDR
Hannah:
There's one more thing I wanted to say about ketamine.
There's the dosing session, but we also do something called psycholytic sessions, which use a lower dose.
You're present.
I enjoy doing those because I can do EMDR while the client is receiving ketamine.
Dana:
So it's like a microdose?
Hannah:
Kind of, yeah.
It still blows my mind.
I've had an experience where I did EMDR with someone and within an hour we cleared three memories.
Dana:
Wow.
And we're not saying everybody is going to have that experience.
Hannah:
No. Absolutely not.
That's not everyone's experience.
I'm sitting there thinking:
"What the actual fuck just happened?"
Dana:
That's what's so cool. You're like, "I don't even know how to explain this, but I'm seeing something happen and it's fucking cool."
Hannah:
I think it can help some people get to adaptive information they already have within themselves more easily.
When you can access the life-preserving stuff, you can also access the good.
The brain doesn't necessarily make a neat distinction when it's blocking things out. Sometimes positive experiences can feel inaccessible, too.
When we work through discomfort, positive experiences may reemerge.
Dana:
One million percent.
"I Don't Have to Know"
Dana:
Hannah, I like to end every episode by asking this.
What's one truth that's helped you in your own growth?
A mantra, something you say to yourself, something you hold as yours whether other people agree with it or not.
Hannah:
My more recent mantra is:
"I don't have to know."
It's okay that I don't know.
It's okay to be uncertain about things.
Dana:
I love that.
I think that's probably very true for a lot of our listeners, accepting uncertainty.
Hannah:
It's really hard.
But the more I practice it, the more I realize how true it is.
Dana:
Sometimes you may get that answer in time, but you have to give it space to come.
Hannah:
And if you don't get it, that's okay, too.
I also think it opens opportunities to show themselves that would never have been there if I didn't hold things loosely.
Dana:
You'd be surprised what can float up when you give it space.
Versus trying to control everything and go, go, go, go, go.
Hannah:
You're suffocating things.
You're suffocating your environment, your experiences, and your growth.
Sometimes just doing a little less and accepting a little more uncertainty allows growth to happen.
Dana:
Less is more.
We're charming, guys. We're charming.
Now all I can think about is the bear in my head.
Hannah:
I know. Picture the bear.
Dana:
I love that.
Where to Find Hannah Guy
Dana:
Hannah, tell our listeners where they can find you and a little about your podcast if they want to keep listening to you.
Hannah:
My practice is called Revive Therapy Services.
We're primarily based out of Philadelphia, but we provide online services in Colorado and Pennsylvania.
You can find us on social media at @revivetherapyservices.
We have a podcast called Trauma, Tea, and Tangents.
Dana has been on it.
Dana:
Sure have. It was so fun recording.
Hannah:
So if you want to hear her episode, check that out.
I also have worksheets on my website for people who don't have access to therapy right now or don't have the resources, time, or space to do deeper trauma healing but still want to show up for themselves and start the work.
The worksheets are a way to start building capacity and building your window of tolerance.
Then, when you're ready, you're not starting from ground zero.
You've done some of the prep work.
Dana:
That's awesome.
Where can they find the worksheets?
Hannah:
On my website, revivetherapyservices.com.
Dana:
Awesome.
We'll include those in the show notes so people can check them out and start their healing journey.
Hannah, thank you so much for being here, chatting with me, and being your amazing, authentic self.
I always appreciate when we chat.
Hannah:
Thanks for having me on.
Dana:
I'll have to have you come on again soon.
Hannah:
Absolutely.
Dana:
Thank you all for listening.
Thank you for being brave.
As always, I am Dana Carretta-Stein, reminding you that:
We repeat what we don't repair.
See you on the next episode.
Closing
Dana:
Thank you for listening to another episode of The Truth About Healing Podcast.
If you know someone who's still stuck, share this episode with them because, as you know, the truth can set them free.
And if you're ready to get started to see what you need to repair, contact us at Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling, and we will get you started.
Until next time, I'm Dana Carretta-Stein reminding you:
We repeat what we don't repair.
Podcast Disclaimer
This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice. Listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you need support, contact a licensed professional or your local emergency services.
Crisis Support: If you're in crisis, call or text 988 in the U.S. or contact your local emergency number.
Transcript lightly edited for readability while preserving the meaning and conversational tone of the original recording
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The Truth About Healing is about looking beyond the surface and understanding what's really driving our patterns, emotions, relationships, and behaviors.
Through honest conversations, trauma-informed insights, and nervous system education, Dana challenges common beliefs about healing and offers a more compassionate way to understand ourselves.
Because healing isn't about becoming someone new. It's about understanding what shaped you, repairing what still impacts you, and creating space for something different.
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We repeat what we don't repair.
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