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Episode 3: What EMDR Really Feels Like - A Therapist's Journey From Panic Attacks to Healing
- Jun 9
- 10 min read
Updated: Jun 11
One therapist shares how EMDR helped him move from debilitating panic attacks to deeper healing, clarity, and self-awareness.
Welcome to Episode 3 of The Truth About Healing Podcast.
One of the most common questions people ask about EMDR therapy is simple:
What does EMDR actually feel like?
In this episode, Dana sits down with Frank, a therapist at Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling, who has experienced EMDR from both sides of the therapy room.
Before becoming EMDR trained himself, Frank sought EMDR therapy as a client while struggling with debilitating panic attacks that weren't improving through traditional talk therapy alone. Now, after completing his first EMDR training weekend, he shares what the process felt like, what surprised him most, and how healing unfolded in ways he never expected.
Whether you're considering EMDR for yourself, are already in therapy, or are a clinician curious about the process, this conversation offers a rare and honest look into What EMDR Really Feels Like during the healing journey.
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Episode Highlights
In This Episode
Frank shares his experience with debilitating panic attacks
Why talk therapy alone wasn't resolving the underlying issue
How EMDR unexpectedly connected his symptoms to 9/11 trauma
What it actually feels like during EMDR processing
The difference between EMDR and traditional talk therapy
Why preparation phases matter more than most people realize
What Frank learned after completing EMDR training himself
How EMDR helped reduce panic attacks and increase self-awareness
Memorable Quote
"The memory is still there. You're just not reacting to it the same way anymore."
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Further Learning & Resources
Discover journals, workbooks, consultation resources, and recommended tools designed to support both personal healing and professional growth.
EMDR Therapy Progress Journal
The EMDR Therapy Progress Journal helps clients track healing progress, identify patterns, document insights, and stay connected to their therapeutic journey between sessions.
Perfect for:
EMDR clients
Trauma recovery work
Reflection between sessions
Tracking healing milestones
EMDR Coach Treatment Planning Workbook
Designed specifically for EMDR therapists, this workbook helps simplify case conceptualization, target sequencing, and treatment planning.
Ideal for:
EMDR-trained clinicians
EMDR consultation groups
Organizing complex cases
Strengthening treatment planning skills
Introducing Dana Carretta-Stein
Dana Carretta-Stein is an LMHC, EMDRIA Approved Consultant, founder of The EMDR Coach, and founder of Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling (PLMHC).
Her work focuses on trauma therapy, nervous system healing, EMDR therapy, attachment patterns, and helping people understand the deeper roots behind emotional and physical symptoms. Dana blends neuroscience, trauma-informed education, and direct honesty in a way that helps people feel both understood and empowered.
Her work is grounded in one core belief: Symptoms make sense when you understand the nervous system underneath them.
Trauma-Informed Therapy Through PLMHC
Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling provides trauma-informed therapy for children, teens, and adults.
Services include support for:
Burnout
Trauma
Panic attacks
Nervous system dysregulation
Emotional overwhelm
PLMHC offers in-person therapy in Scarsdale and virtual therapy throughout New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Colorado and Florida.
If you’ve been looking for EMDR therapy in Scarsdale or trauma-informed therapy in Westchester, support is available.
Full Episode Transcript
What EMDR Really Feels Like: Welcome to the Conversation
Today we're diving into what it feels like during the EMDR process, both from the client and therapist perspective, all from one person who knows what it's like to be on both sides.
Frank is a therapist at Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling. He recently completed his first EMDR training weekend and has also experienced EMDR therapy himself as a client.
That combination gives him a unique perspective on the healing process.
What EMDR Really Feels Like When You're Stuck
Dana: Tell me a little bit about how you got into EMDR in the first place.
Frank: It's actually kind of interesting. I found EMDR because I was doing talk therapy for years.
And I was stuck.
My therapist looked at me one day and basically said:
"Listen. We're stuck. There's no progress here."
We needed something different.
It felt like my defenses were up in a way where I couldn't get to what I needed to get to.
Panic Attacks That Wouldn't Go Away
Dana: What symptoms were you still experiencing that weren't improving?
Frank: Panic attacks.
We were trying to figure out where they were coming from.
We were talking about them.
Trying to understand them.
But they just kept happening.
I was taking medication for depression and anxiety, but the panic attacks were still coming.
Sometimes I needed Xanax just to get through them.
Anyone who's ever experienced a panic attack knows how debilitating they are.
I genuinely thought I was dying.
At one point I was on the train heading to work and I remember thinking:
"This is how I'm going to die."
Not on a beach somewhere.
Not doing something fun.
I'm going to die on this train.
And that's honestly what it felt like.
When Anxiety Takes Everything Out of You
Frank: The hardest part wasn't just the panic attack itself.
It was what happened afterward.
By the time I got to work, I was exhausted.
My body had just gone through what felt like a marathon.
Except I hadn't gone anywhere.
I love exercise.
I understand physical exhaustion.
But this was different.
My nervous system was completely drained.
And after years of this happening, I was frustrated.
I was tired.
And I wanted answers.
What EMDR Really Feels Like Before You Start
Dana: Did you do much research on EMDR before starting?
Frank: Honestly?
No.
And I think that was probably a good thing.
I didn't want to cloud my judgment.
I wanted to go in open-minded.
At the time, all I knew was that my therapist recommended it because traditional talk therapy wasn't getting me where I needed to go.
He described it as something often used for trauma.
That was enough for me.
I figured:
Why not?
Nothing else was working.
The Difference Between Knowing and Healing
Frank: One thing I've learned is that understanding something intellectually isn't always enough.
I understood my anxiety.
I could talk about it.
Analyze it.
Explain it.
But the panic attacks were still happening.
That's what surprised me about EMDR.
It wasn't just about talking.
It was about allowing my brain and nervous system to process experiences differently.
And once that started happening, things changed.
What EMDR Really Feels Like After Processing
Frank: I can honestly say that EMDR changed my life.
It made me more aware of myself.
More aware of my thoughts.
More aware of what was happening internally before things spiraled out of control.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm still human.
I still get anxious.
I still get stressed.
But now I can recognize what's happening.
I can step back and say:
"Okay. Something's being triggered here."
And then I can respond differently.
That level of awareness wasn't there before.
The Memory That Changed Everything
One of the most powerful moments Frank describes occurred during processing of a target memory connected to 9/11.
What surprised him most was that he didn't realize the event was still affecting him.
Like many people, he believed he had already processed it.
Moved on.
Put it behind him.
EMDR showed him something different.
What EMDR Really Feels Like When the Real Target Appears
Frank: I honestly thought we were going somewhere else.
I thought we were going to focus on work stress.
Or a terrible boss.
I thought that was the source of everything.
Instead, my nervous system took us somewhere completely different.
It led us to 9/11.
And I remember thinking:
"What the hell is this about?"
Because I genuinely believed I was done with that experience.
I thought I had already processed it.
Clearly I hadn't.
When Protector Parts Show Up
Frank: I remember there was a point where we got close to that memory and I wasn't ready.
Not at all.
My protector part came out fast.
It basically said:
"Back off."
And honestly?
That showed me how much was still there.
Because if there wasn't anything left to process, there wouldn't have been such a strong reaction.
It was uncomfortable.
Really uncomfortable.
But it was also important.
Understanding the Train Trigger
As processing continued, Frank began recognizing connections he had never made before.
One of those connections involved the train rides that triggered many of his panic attacks.
Frank: It finally clicked.
It wasn't just the train.
It was where the train was taking me.
The temperature.
The environment.
Heading into the city.
Going downtown.
My nervous system associated that journey with danger.
Even though logically I knew I was safe, my body didn't.
My nervous system still remembered.
That's what EMDR helped me understand.
What EMDR Really Feels Like When Symptoms Finally Make Sense
One of the most powerful parts of EMDR is discovering that symptoms aren't random.
They're often connected to experiences the nervous system never fully processed.
As Frank continued processing, the connections became clearer.
His panic attacks made sense.
His triggers made sense.
His reactions made sense.
And for the first time, he wasn't fighting symptoms he couldn't understand.
He was healing experiences that had been driving them all along.
What EMDR Really Feels Like When the Panic Starts to Fade
Dana: Once you started processing those experiences, what changed?
Frank: The panic attacks started decreasing.
Not overnight.
It wasn't magic.
But they became less intense.
Less frequent.
And eventually they stopped controlling my life.
That's the best way I can describe it.
Before EMDR, it felt like my nervous system was running the show.
After EMDR, I felt like I had choices again.
I could recognize what was happening without immediately getting swept away by it.
That was huge.
The Moment Everything Became Clear
Frank: There was one session that stands out more than any other.
We were processing a target memory and something shifted.
I opened my eyes and just sat there.
Everything felt quiet.
Not empty.
Not numb.
Just peaceful.
I remember looking around the room and feeling completely present.
For years, I had been carrying tension that I didn't even realize was there.
Then suddenly it wasn't.
The memory was still there.
I could still talk about it.
I could still remember it.
But I wasn't reliving it anymore.
That's probably the biggest difference.
The memory stayed.
The emotional charge changed.
What EMDR Really Feels Like Compared to Talk Therapy
Dana: You've experienced both traditional therapy and EMDR. What felt different?
Frank: Talk therapy helped me understand things.
EMDR helped me experience change.
That's probably the simplest way I can explain it.
With talk therapy, I could explain my anxiety.
I could explain my childhood.
I could explain my triggers.
I knew all the right answers.
But my nervous system didn't seem to care.
The reactions kept happening anyway.
EMDR felt different because it wasn't just intellectual.
It felt like my brain was making connections on its own.
Connections I probably never would have reached through talking alone.
And once those connections happened, things started shifting naturally.
What EMDR Really Feels Like From a Therapist's Perspective
One of the unique aspects of this conversation is that Frank recently completed his first EMDR training weekend.
For the first time, he wasn't just experiencing EMDR as a client.
He was learning how to provide it as a therapist.
Dana: What surprised you most during training?
Frank: Honestly?
How structured it is.
Before training, I think I assumed EMDR was mostly about the eye movements.
Now I realize that's only a small piece of it.
There is an entire framework behind the process.
There is preparation.
Assessment.
Resource development.
Treatment planning.
Safety.
The bilateral stimulation gets the attention, but that's not what makes EMDR effective.
The preparation is what makes the work possible.
What Most People Misunderstand About EMDR
One of the biggest misconceptions about EMDR is that people simply walk into a session, start moving their eyes, and suddenly process years of trauma.
That isn't how it works.
Frank: After training, I gained a whole new appreciation for the phases that happen before processing even begins.
As a client, I don't think I fully understood how much preparation Dana was doing behind the scenes.
Now I do.
And honestly, it made me appreciate the process even more.
Because the healing doesn't happen because someone waves a magic wand.
The healing happens because there is a solid foundation underneath the work.
Why Safety Comes First
Another major takeaway from the training involved the importance of safety.
Frank: One thing that stood out to me is how much emphasis EMDR places on readiness.
It's not about forcing someone into difficult memories.
It's not about pushing people faster than they're ready to go.
It's about helping the nervous system build enough stability first.
As a client, I felt that.
There were times when my system clearly wasn't ready.
And instead of pushing forward, we slowed down.
Looking back, that probably made all the difference.
Because trust matters.
Safety matters.
The therapeutic relationship matters.
Without those things, processing becomes much harder.
What EMDR Really Feels Like When You're Ready
People often ask:
"How do I know if EMDR is right for me?"
The answer is different for everyone.
But one thing Frank emphasizes is that readiness doesn't mean feeling fearless.
It doesn't mean having everything figured out.
It simply means being willing to become curious.
Frank: I wasn't excited about processing trauma.
I wasn't looking forward to it.
But I was willing.
And that willingness created an opening.
The process wasn't always comfortable.
There were sessions that were exhausting.
There were moments when I wanted to avoid things.
But every time I stayed with it, I learned something important.
Usually about myself.
Usually about something I didn't even realize I was carrying.
The Healing Happens Inside You
One of the themes that kept coming up throughout our conversation was this:
The therapist doesn't do the healing.
The nervous system does.
The therapist helps guide the process.
They help create safety.
They help keep things moving.
But the brain already knows how to heal.
EMDR simply helps remove the obstacles that prevent that healing from happening naturally.
Frank: That's probably what surprised me most.
The answers weren't coming from Dana.
They were coming from me.
From my own brain.
From my own nervous system.
The process helped me access information that was already there.
And once I could see it, everything started making more sense.
Why This Experience Changed the Way I Practice
Experiencing EMDR as both a client and a therapist has changed the way Frank approaches his work.
He now has a deeper appreciation for what clients are experiencing when they sit across from him.
The uncertainty.
The vulnerability.
The courage it takes to trust the process.
Frank: I think it made me more compassionate.
More patient.
More understanding.
Because now I know what it feels like.
I know how scary it can be.
I know how exhausting it can be.
But I also know what's possible on the other side.
And that's something I carry into every session now.
Closing Thoughts
If you've ever wondered what EMDR really feels like, Frank's story offers an important reminder:
Healing isn't about forgetting.
It's not about erasing memories.
And it's not about pretending painful experiences never happened.
Healing is about helping the nervous system recognize that the experience is over.
It's about transforming a memory from something you continually relive into something you simply remember.
For Frank, EMDR didn't change the past.
It changed his relationship with the past.
And that made all the difference.
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